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It is rightly said that when someone lowers their voice and speaks, it is to get something done. When someone raises it, it is often because they have not got what they want.

One of the smartest ways to get through life is to be tactful. Then, you can get most things done your way. The most stupid thing to do is to be careless with your communication, because you will only end up losing.

Think before you speak. Give yourself time to think of what to say and how to say it. It will help you chalk out a logical path to achieveit. Planning a response is worth the effort. You must tailor your communication according to the kind of person you are dealing with and also the kind of result you want from him or her.

First, you must believe in yourself. Ensure you have a good image about yourself. If you nurture a negative image, there are more chances of you not learning to be assertive or tactful. Tell yourself: I can.

Watch others when they talk to you. There are approximately 7,50,000 body language signals that you can read. Observe their body language, it is better than just weighing what they said.

While dealing with people, try to be as cheerful as you can. Give out positive energy. If you do so, you are more likely to get your point across than most of the others.

If you don’t want to do something, don’t agree to do it. You must learn the art of saying ‘no’ politely, yet assertively. You’ll be surprised at the respect you receive. If you are a doormat, everyone will walk over you. You need to underline your point, but do it subtly.

Being assertive is different from being aggressive. Those who lack confidence often use aggression, as a defense mechanism. It is their security blanket.

It is great if you have a positive bent of mind that makes you think of emerging happy and successful. But it is foolhardy to think that this will be the outcome always. So it’s better to have a contingent plan all the time. Those who have a clear-cut plan ‘A’ do well, but those with a plan ‘B’ do even better as they’ve insured themselves from failure.

—Ramesh Menon is a journalist and corporate trainer