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ShareI may be one of those lucky few who is not besieged with calls, trying to sell a credit card, a personal loan or holiday packages. Either my service provider hasn't sold its database yet or I am just plain lucky. Nevertheless, that does not mean I do not get any calls. I get lots of calls from public relations professionals (I am wondering if you have two minutes types). And this is how a typical call goes:
Me: Hello...
Caller: Hi. This is Shafalica calling from Next Generation Image Management (Image Management, Peter Drucker must be turning in his grave). Is that Vivek?
Me (in a rather bored voice): Ji. Boliye.
Shafalica: I was wondering whether you had two minutes? (For the uninitiated 'wondering' is the most oft used word by Public Relations and Corporate Communication Professionals.)
Me: Yes, Tell me. (now trying not to sound bored)
Shafalica: We have this client called Rose Wealth Management (Management again. Drucker must be back to original position now, since he must have turned again). Their CEO Vishal Mansukhani would like to contribute to your newspaper. (Contribute is another favourite with PR guys.)
Me: What does he want to contribute?
Shafalica: I was wondering (not again) if you would be interested in an article from his side. (Now that gets me interested. An article, so that means less work for a day. And since he is a corporate guy, he won't charge. So suddenly, we are talking 'win-win' management here)
Me: Hmmm. An article. So what does he want to write on?
Shafalica: I was wondering if you had any ideas on what he could contribute on? ( If I have an idea, wouldn't I rather write it myself? Those who write on a regular basis will understand that figuring out what to write is the most difficult part. Writing it out is much easier. If the person doesn't even have a clue on what he wants to write, what sort of an expert is he supposed to be? Or is it just laziness.)
Me: No. I don't have any ideas (And even if I had, why should I give them to you. I am tempted to scream.)
Shafalica (now at a loss of words): Hmmm. Let me talk to Mr Manshukhani, and ask him what he is comfortable writing on and then get back to you.
Shafalica: Bye.
Me: Bye.
