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“So, you come here every three months?” The youngish immigration officer at JFK airport in New York looked at me closely, not even a hint of a smile on his lips, before stamping my passport. My husband had just breezed through.

When I tried to disarm him by saying that I was a debuting grandmother, he quipped back, mustering up a weak smile, with “Well, happy babysitting.” Obviously, he was used to grandmas on the India-US shuttle descending regularly like the seasons to look after their grand-offspring while their daughters and sons lived out the American dream.

I know of several couples who alternate babysitting duties with their samadis (the other set of in-laws). When the visas of one set run out, the other pair of grandparents take over: it’s a bit like passing on the torch. And then it all starts again.

Just a few years ago the “babysitters” from India would have felt marooned, even lonely on these foreign shores.

Today, it’s more like home here. From chaat and dosas and ubiquitous gurus and temples to the latest Bollywood blockbuster, to Indians themselves — it’s all here. The Indian population in the United States has almost doubled over the last five years, from 1.6 million to 2.3 million: only the Chinese outnumber them amongst the Asian population.

Don’t worry, this column is not going to turn into The Naani Diaries: my daughter has a real one, a nanny that is. The point I want to make is that an increasing number of Indians have begun to lead divided lives, each on a different continent.

Home is acquiring a looser, more open-ended meaning. To begin with Indians feel less alien here. Incidentally the word aliens in bold letters that demarcated the line non-Americans had to go through when entering this country has been changed to the more arriver-friendly “visitors”. Perhaps, it was the more politically correct thing to do.

No longer are Indians in the larger cities seen as walking-talking exotica. Indian Americans are popping up all over the place: on television as reporters or doctors in TV series (mirroring the disproportionately large number of desi doctors in this country); occasionally in mainstream movies, and more visibly in the political arena.

Meanwhile, back home (India) is also garnering another meaning. For many second generation Indians or those who came here to study and stayed on, India is no longer something to feel apologetic over. Or even be patronising about. Not too long ago Indians coming in were referred to as FOB’s (Fresh off the Boat), the equivalent of country bumpkins still wet behind the ears with Peter Sellers accents: the classic old-immigrant vs the nouveau-immigrant.

Increasingly, many desi Americans, both young and old, now think of the old country as a place with a future. China and India are now considered ‘hot’ — countries to head to if you want to make a mark or a fortune — and there’s a buzz about them in the marketplace and in international forums and organisations.

India is even getting to be like America. Not only are there spanking new malls with all the brands available, but there are all kinds of little Americas mushrooming —like plush residential colonies that boast that there’s nothing Indian about them. Not too long ago some NRI’s would even haul toilet paper on their trips home: the local ones were too scratchy.

More Indians are even speaking with American accents. Those on the coming home trail — albeit temporarily — are predominately of two kinds: the retirees and the young ones looking for bright futures.

Some of the former were already on the Diwali-to-Holi sojourns to India: this way they avoided both the harsh winters in Europe and the United States and the grueling summers in India. This lot has now regularised its dual lives, graduating from visitors to residents.

Many are chewing up the real estate on the outskirts of Delhi-Gurgaon and elsewhere where residential complexes are being developed for people like them. Home increasingly means a place where you have a house.

Desis who live abroad can now have their cake and eat it too. They can retain their American and European passports and not have to face the visa hurdle each time they visit India. The government has made it easier for them: first with the POI (People of Indian origin) stamp on passports, and recently with the OCI (Overseas Citizens of India) laissez-passer, which makes it a sweeter homecoming.

Email: jain_madhu@hotmail.com