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Recently, at the very grand International Congress of Chinese Food and Wine, I learnt some very useful terms. Terms which I hadn’t known existed, or didn’t know could be actually used to describe wines.

Green: A wine termed green does not refer to its colour. It refers to the ripeness of the fruit that was used to make the wine. A green wine is an unripe wine and, as one may deduce, not a good wine. It means that the harvest took place when the grapes were still a tad raw and rough thus carrying forth the same into the wine. A friend recently shared with me how many people mistakenly thought that wines from the grape Gruner

Veltline (Gruner means green) were to be termed Green in colour.

Plonk: While I use this word often to describe most Indian wines (yes even your favourite white one, I know the one you are thinking of), it is not exactly an appreciating asset to endow upon a wine. It means that the wine would be best distilled into industrial alcohol where it would be more useful. It means the worst possible effort at making wine. More often than not, such wines are commercial compromise is where wine loses out.

Quaffer: A quaffing wine is a wine that is not bad to quench one’s thirst. Itmanages to show balance and that is not entirely a bad thing, especially if you paid only a few euros in the first place.

Off: A wine is termed as “Off” when it is not fit to drink anymore. People use the word to describe wines that have been corked or have gotten oxidised by being held for too long, in proper or improper storage. It is a very polite way of announcing that the wine is not in ship-shape.

Vertical: A tasting or a dinner where different vintages of the same wine are served. This is a good way to analyse how a wine will age and turn out in a few decades (that’s right, decades) so that you may invest in a few bottles today and save them for a special rainy day. Wines may be served from latest vintage to oldest or vice versa. I prefer the opposite as in that way you can taste the subtle aged and more experiences versions before being attacked by the younger, morevibrant versions.

Mouthfeel: This refers to how a wine feels on the mouth, or more correctly, the palate. A rich mouthfeel means that the wine offers a lot of flavour and taste whereas a feeble or a thin mouthfeel would refer to a sharp acidic wine. It is a good word to use to describe what your mouth feels like.

pH Readjustment: It is popularly known in Australian winemaking circles that a lot of beer is needed to make good wine. No, you don’t add it, you drink it. After a recent tasting of 50 wines in one single seating we headed out for some pH readjustment. Nothing but beer was going to remove the tannic coating our mouths had been exposed to. Plus, it is classier than announcing that you are heading out for a pint with the boys.
To conclude, let me share what I told a friend once. She said that after a few tastings with me she had started using wine terms to describe people and it was very funny. I told her that I used people terms to describe wines and that is how I managed to never run out.

The writer is a sommelier