Column

Years ago, as a kid mortally afraid of mathematics, I remember being smacked and slapped by my father the moment I came home after a bad paper. Since mathematics was the first exam and would almost inevitably go wrong, my father’s reaction to my saying that I fared badly would be a shrill cry followed by a flurry of slaps and disparaging comments.

In sheer disgust, I would not be able to concentrate on others subjects, the exams of which followed on subsequent days. I am sure most of us share this childhood experience. Had my father controlled his reaction and responded in a mellow manner, my scores in subjects other than mathematics could have climbed many notches higher.

The point I am trying to make is: ‘respond, don’t react’. There is a huge difference between reacting and responding. A reaction is a thoughtless, emotional impulse resulting in a negative view.

Contrarily, a response involves thought, and, shorn of emotions, projects a positive perspective. The listener finds it soothing and it might just make his day, maybe yours too.

Let alone a child, a reaction could have serious implications for a grown-up. I remember Joel Schumacher’s film Falling Down, where actor, Michael Douglas, who plays an ordinary man, reacts to minor day-to-day provocations by picking up a gun to settle scores. In the end, he is shot by a cop. We face many hurdles in life whose answers lie not in violent reaction, but in tackling them with cool responsiveness, lest we ‘fall’ like Douglas in the film.

Sometimes, we have to make a split decision whether to react or respond. Our natural instinct is to react. A natural proclivity towards responding, however, comes with time and practice. Try it. You have all to gain.