Column

It was when I was telling little Ananya a bedtime story, that I realised that I was reinventing my favourite fairy tales as I went along.

Like Little Red Riding Hood. I could not bring myself to say that the wolf was Big and Bad, and was planning to eat her grandmother and subsequently, Ms Hood too, up.

I made him crave her biscuits instead, and the entire ruse he went through was to get at the delicious stuff in Ms Hood’s basket.

And of course I could not let the woodcutter kill him either; he was just chased away after a rough ticking off and a biscuit. The wolf, in return, promised never to chase little girls or scare grandmas again.

Another time, I was telling her the story of how Ganapati came to have an elephant’s head, and again, I could not get to narrating that Shiv cut off a little boy’s head in anger. I mean, how can he, a man of deep understanding, lose his temper so badly that he behave in such a manner with a defenceless boy. This change was all the more necessary as Ananya’s own father is also called Shiv!

I had him slap the boy instead, and place the elephant head over his real one, to make him stand out as special.

The stories worked just as well, and a lot of bloodshed was spared. Fairy tales are a part of growing up, but I do think, looking back, that they end up fracturing us emotionally quite significantly.

We grow up thinking wolves are bad, when they are just animals with animal instincts, programmed to fight for survival like all other beasts. We grow up thinking other canines like foxes and coyotes are equally wicked andwily. In fact so deep-seated is this in the collective psyche of at least the English-speaking world, that we call predatory men wolves, and use terms that are not so flattering, like being foxed, being bitchy, silly cow… creating stereotypes that don’t really exist except in fiction.

All those stories of Prince Charming are another quicksand that we need to negotiate as we grow into adulthood. Surprisingly this genre of fairy tale does not seem to affect men; I know none who have consciously modelled themselves on Prince Charming. But conversely, it could also be, because the character of Prince Charming is sketchy,
all he does is ride up on acharger and ride back with his beautiful prize, into the sunset.

And Indian men at least live this part, out to the T. To the princely manor born, they ride the prancing white mare to claim their prize, sometimes, with cash incentives added on, and then imagine that their role is complete.Little girls, on the other hand, grow up sure they are little princesses, who will, when the tie is right, find their Prince Charming. And even those who have ample proof that they are ordinary human beings, dream of the day when a kiss from a stranger who hasimpeccable good looks and bearing will transform them into a very special person, and open up the pathway to a happily ever after.

This is the 21st century after all, and the reality is: despite 21 centuries of fighting for equality, the gender war still rages. And despite technology, and marvels like the chip and wi-fi and stem cells, man is not able to stop global warming, not able to stop the plunder and ravaging of flora and fauna.

It is time then, to face reality. To understand that we are planting things in our subconscious that leave us unprepared for the truths that life will unfold. Which in turn will affect our fight for our peace of mind,and ultimate well being.

Perhaps that is what has prompted the biggest culprit of all, Disney itself, which with its animated creations has charmed generations of youngsters into a false sense of security about the future, to make a movie that laughs atsome of its own stereotypes. Enchanted, as the movie is called, has won the acclaim of critics, as much for technical perfection, as for its move into the realms of reality.

So, I am on the right track, I say to myself. Hopefully other mothers and fathers and grandparents who weave dreams for sleepy children will start thinking real too!

Email: ssaran@dnaindia.net