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ShareWhew! After much sound and fury, Shashi Tharoor, minister of state for external affairs, has finally been let off with a rap on his knuckles. (No uncleji, Sonia Gandhi didn't really beat him, she just gave him a warning.) He can keep his job for now. And senior congress leaders hammered the fear of political extinction into his skull. (No uncleji, they didn't really beat him with a hammer.) And all for his tweet-nothings in cyberspace.
As everyone and his uncle knows by now (no uncleji, no offence to you), a saffron journalist asked Tharoor on Twitter whether he would be travelling cattle class. Yes, he would be travelling cattle class, tweeted the witty Tharoor, "in solidarity with all our holy cows". And has been cowering in fear ever since.
As a dedicated member of the cattle class, I have been marvelling at how swiftly the grand old party can deflect a threat to its sacred institutions while pretending to be the saviour of the aam aadmi. Surely they could not be offended by the idiom 'cattle class', widely used for decades to mean economy class in trains and planes?
The prick was the second part of the tweet. On a day that Sonia Gandhi had taken her first much-hyped economy class trip and Rahul Gandhi was readying for an even more janata-like AC chair car train ride, Tharoor's "solidarity with all our holy cows" didn't go down well with the holy-cow-worshipping Congress.
Spokesperson Jayanti Natarajan found it "unacceptable" and "absolutely insensitive" and declared, "We totally condemn it. The statement is not in sync with our political culture." All of which is true. The statement does clash like cymbals with the Congress's culture of sycophancy. Other leaders promised "appropriate action" against Tharoor, some demanded his sack. But now, after a warning that the former under secretary of the United Nations will never forget, he has been spared his marching orders. (No uncleji, he doesn't march.)
Now, when all parties are wooing youngsters on the internet, is it wise for the Congress to muzzle one of their most popular leaders among the netizens? Maybe not. But when it comes to certain leaders, the party doesn't need to use its head -- bended knees would do. And the very thought that such a leader may have been slighted is enough to keep logic out even if Tharoor tweets apologies till the cows come home. (No uncleji, no cows have gone missing.)
Not that Tharoor is blameless. He was carried to a thundering victory by a party that worked overtime to ensure his win because of Sonia Gandhi's huge support. He was given an important portfolio right away. And then the minister tweets of travelling cattle class in solidarity with the holy cows just as the Gandhis venture into economy class. It's a bit like biting the hand that fed him, no? (No uncleji, Tharoor did not bite Sonia.)
Maybe in his haste to crack a joke, Tharoor forgot what a holy cow really was. That it had nothing to do with cattle. That holy cows are not to be touched. Not even in jest. The genuflecting brigade quickly chose to not understand idioms, zeroed in on 'cattle class' and accused Tharoor of insulting the masses. The language press diligently translated the idiom into its literal meaning, presumably leaving the aam aadmi totally confused at being told that Tharoor was joining a class of cows.
We have earlier been in a similar flap over then ambassador Ronen Sen's comment about people "running around like headless chickens" over the Indo-US nuclear deal. What, call us chicken? Following an enormous uproar in Parliament, Sen was forced to apologise. Now we are apparently insulted by a cow idiom. We have been using English for centuries. It is our official language. Isn't it time our politicians learnt it?
