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Long timeago two friends came across for a visit to my place. Each brought along their baby, in this case boys, both around 3 or 4 years old. And was it a study in contrast!

While one of the two busied himself in finding ways to wreck my home, and then moved on to trying to break his neck by jumping from higher and higher perches on my staircase, the other sat quietly watching, listening, and occasionally looking at his mother for release from the obvious boredom he was being subjected to.

Trying to distract the one and amuse the other, I searched around and dug out long forgotten toys that my now teenaged son had ferreted away. A picture book, a defunct video game, a colouring book with still-clean pages and some colour pencils , and two toy pistols left over from some Diwali, were among the treasures I unearthed after a hasty search.

The boys of course rejected the colouring book and the video game which would not respond. But the quiet one looked through the picture book, and even Tarzan got interested.

Then they discovered the pistols.

Tarzan transformed into Roy Rogers and went about aiming his gun at everyone in the room. The other boy, who had obviously not been exposed to the instrument before, looked at it long and hard, then questioningly put the muzzle into his mouth and attempted to blow on it and get it to make some sound.

Today both boys are self-possessed young men, and might laugh at themselves if they recognise themselves in this story, but the point I am getting at is: what you give is what you get.

I am not saying that the gun toting boy will turn out to be a gangster. Or that Mr Quiet will be a do-gooder, only because he was not given guns and other such to play with as a child.

Life is too complex for such easy generalisations. And in fact, I know that both boys are pretty good students and in many other aspects too, the pride of their parents.

Also, the fact is that children love violence.

Despite the politically correct fairy tales I am partial to, the only thing that children I tell stories to pick up is the single act of violence that the story holds, and of course all popular stories, be it Krishna fighting demons, or Hanuman wrecking vengeance in Ravana’s court, or Tom and Jerry, hold their measure of violence. And of course there is enough of gore in the simplest Bollywood film to make the squeamish turn green in the face.

Television and books do not show the pain, the hurt, 2D images cannot communicate the real damage a stick, a bullet or an axe can do; and the swift moving image, even if gory, only imparts a mood.

But it lurks in the subconscious, and if given enough fuel, can burst into flames. But it seems to wash down children’s memories like water off a duck’s back, and remain in context as part of the tale.

What we don’t realise these days is that there is so much more real violence in our lives. We live in stressful times, and give vent to our anger in ways that surprises even us.

Road rage, anger at a beggar knocking incessantly on the window of the car, swear words when we jam a finger while opening a tin, domestic brawls where doors are not closed before one lets loose; everything is absorbed by watchful eyes, ever listening ears… for the child learns by imitation. And what parents do is considered the right thing to follow, parents are the be-all after all, for their toddlers.

Little wonder then, that violence in the class room, has become a sign of our times. After all that is the child’s universe, and that is where he finds freedom to express himself. And what he has absorbed is what he expresses. If the child has an inherent anger gene in his DNA, so much the worse for all concerned.

My friend yesterday was saying how shocked she was to hear her 3-year-old grand-daughter pointing a gun at her family and shouting ‘I’ll shoot you’ at each one of them.

I assured her, it was only a part of growing up, one more phase in a child’s multifaceted development through her role playing. Her parents were after all, quite particular about her dos and don’ts. But she was worried. In the context of what is happening in schools, I did think rightly so!

Email: ssaran@dnaindia.net