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ShareIs the pub a symbol of moral turpitude? Do parents see the pub as a wedge that is splitting generations, and hence, try to stay away from it until it becomes a talking point? Along with colleagues M Raghuraman and Preethi Nagaraj, I tried to fathom the pub
divide. Some of the answers suggest why 2009 could be the year of parental concern.
Says Mysore's Maheshwara Rao, a businessman: "As a parent, I place a lot of trust in my child but I am certainly concerned about my son and daughter going to a pub. I am worried about them getting influenced by peer pressure and losing track. After all, children are becoming easy targets for anti-social activists. I wonder if we have lost the choice of guiding our own children towards the right path and given it away to extremist groups."
But what is the right path? How does it diverge from a parental diktat. Says Chandraa Nanjundaiah, a homemaker: "Mysore has quite a few pubs. I suspect my daughter has gone there too during decent hours. I am petrified because she may soon lose sight of the 'stop here' line and go berserk. But advising a grown-up child is not easy. I understand she is an individual in her own right and will do things that are right for her in the long run. I am certainly worried for her; this often overpowers my confidence in her."
For some parents, pubs are culture shocks. "In recent times, the (social) changes have been so fast that they have started defying the basic decency a highly evolved community demands from its youngsters. We see a different kind of culture: it's a mixture of alcoholism, sex, drugs and automobiles. Interest in academics, careers, social bonds and hard work are taking the back seat. As middle-aged parents, my wife and I wonder what we would do if our teenage boy and girl are dragged into such a vortex,"
says Arvind Iyer, a Mangalore-based engineer."
How does one deal with a vortex that has become a lifestyle statement, especially in Mangalore? Says Rajani Prabhu, a bank employee: "I want to give my children the best of life; they should know the world as it changes. Discotheques and pubs are an integral part of it, but do they know how to reasonably restrict themselves?I guess youngsters should be made aware of how to use their freedom. Middle-class families are easy with money now, but that does not mean that parents should let their children do anything they wish."
But parents are afraid their influence is waning in an IT melting pot that is recoding Old Bangalore values. Says Bangalore's Anju Sharma, a housewife: "I am helpless. My daughter works in a BPO; I can't control her timings or her peer group. The pub is an extension of the 24/7 culture. I can't blame her for that. I am certainly concerned. Let's put spirits aside for a moment and ask ourselves: Do our pubs have security? Are our daughters safe there? Are these joints monitored? I may sound like a spoilsport but the 11pm pub deadline in Bangalore has given a mother like me some relief. I know that my daughter will come back before 11:30pm. Maybe, we should have a 10pm deadline. It makes sense in a city whose pubs are not 100 per cent safe and whose police force is not equipped 24/7."
24/7 is a culture that parents are still coming to terms with. "My kids work in a competitive workplace and want to make a mark fast. Their lifestyles are an extension of their workplaces. It's not the pub I am scared of; it's the 24/7 culture that I am a stranger to," says Revathi, a single mom.
If anything, the pub divide has widened the generation gap. And, it has provided a moral stimulus to life in the time of recession.
