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Since this is the season of forgiveness, it is time to look at a number of things: Why do people forgive? Is there a return on such an emotional investment (ROEI)? What are the dividends? Is there a crash course on forgiveness? What makes the Dalai Lama, Priyanka Vadra and your spouse forgive?

To understand the mother of all emotions, I Googled and found the humble act of forgiveness had numerous meanings. Most of the quotes are posted on a site, www.thinkfirst.com. But there are other sites that specialise in forgiveness. Here are some everlasting sayings to set you thinking this Sunday morning:

Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.
(Oscar Wilde)

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. (Lewis Smedes)

People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than for being right. (JK Rowling)

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves theexpense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. (Hannah Moore)

Forgiveness is the oil of relationships. (Josh McDowell)

Since all pithy thoughts are the sum total of life experiences, like the ones listed above, I asked online and offline friends how they perceived forgiveness and how they practiced it. Some were outright dismissive; some chewed on the thought before spitting it out; others recklessly philosophised.

GenY view: “Forgiveness is the last step in life, which starts with innocence, feeds on aggression, andredeems itself with compassion. It is something that comes naturally when you are in your forties, only after you have a string of achievements to your name. At that point in midlife, forgiveness is taken seriously by the offender. Forgiveness below that age will make you sound like Mr Bean.”

Green view: Why haven’t the greens taken to forgiveness? After all, pardon, kindness and benignity are the world’s most endangered qualities. Global warming is actually a warming of minds and souls, which are bereft of calm and compassion. If you want to see through the urban smog, reduce the fog index in your soul: learn to forgive. Isn’t there more to life than bulbs, ice, oil spills and smoke?”

Urbanite’s view: “Forgiveness cannot build cities; it will drive you back to your villages. How much and who will you forgive? You are left with no footpaths, no jogging tracks, no open spaces. Concrete and corruption are crowding out aesthetics from your heart. Every morning, you wake up to a stone age, its immoral décor, its spiritual squalor…. You ask yourself: Is life about surviving? Unfortunately, the question is never answered.”

Exec’s view: “I have moved from job to job, across five companies, through seven hierarchical layers, in the last three years. My resignation letters have thanked the bosses hugely; I have even portrayed all theorganisations as the world’s best workplaces. I wrote all that despite my bad experiences; I was always a victim of office politics, always marginalised, always a scapegoat. But I know I will return to my first organisation one day. After all, companies fish for talent in a limited pool; the same people are recycled acrossindustry. Perhaps that is why my resignation letters smell so sweet… perhaps I have learnt to forgive.”

Do people really want to forgive? Here’s what you will find posted on Wikipedia (wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness): “In a large representative sampling of American people on various religious topics in 1988, the Gallup Organisation found that 94 per cent said it was important to forgive, but 85 per cent said they needed some outside help to be able to forgive.

However, not even regular prayer was found to be effective. The Gallup poll revealed that the only thing that was effective was ‘meditative prayer’.”
If that is indeed the case, perhaps a how-to list will help.

If your mind space is filled to the brim, it is better to forgive. Reasonrequires room; forgiveness doesn’t.

Forgiveness is more powerful than competence. Bosses will remember you till they retire.

Learn to forgive one person a day. Make it your default mental setting. It could be your chauffeur or your bank relationship manager.

If you are still clueless, don’t utter a word. Silence is the best form of forgiveness. In a noisy city, it will even differentiate you.

Email: vinaykamat@dnaindia.net