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ShareAs a parent I always wonder: Am I a good guide to my son? Should I wean him away from cartoon crazies like Ben 10, Shin-chan, the Joker, and introduce him to Karna and Arjuna? Should I buy him a Batman mask or a Chandamama? How do I tell him the difference between masked entertainment and unmasked knowledge, between fantasy and folklore?
Let him be, says a relative. Expose him to what you think is right, and allow him to choose what he thinks is right, says the wife. So, I have taken him to malls, multiplexes, parks, even enticed him with labs and pugs, but the fascination for Ben 10 continues.
(Ben 10 is a 10-year-old cartoon character who has the awesome power to change into 10 different alien supercharacters in a nanosecond). He is defining his identity, says a friend, who reads loads of pop psychology. "He's okay. You are not okay," was his advice.
But the story of childhood doesn't end there. Questions keep cropping. What school should he go to? Should he study in an environment which is highly competitive, moderately stressful, or zero-stress? Would his teachers know about Ben 10 and be able to stimulate and localise his imagination? Would he admire a teacher who is unfamiliar with his favourite superheroes?
Would he relate to a parent who is unable to participate in his fantasies? Well, I keep trying. I have started telling him a whole host of bedtime stories from Chandamama: The Short-tempered Ascetic, The Prince and the Gundharvas, The Clever Parrot... But I wonder whether the simplicity and morality in these tales would interest him more than the pace and thrill he encounters in Ben 10.
What skill sets does he have? Does he have mindspace for this and that? Do you like to bring him up in a competitive environment? These are some of the questions I am asked as I seek his admission to upper KG. But there's one question I still await: What's his core competence?
I keep searching for answers, as I did last week. Interestingly, I found some answers in a Kannada movie, Moggin Manasu, or Blooming Hearts, which I saw in Bangalore with my colleagues Raghuraman and Prahlad. The hit movie has a warning: Viewing this film is injurious to boys' hearts. I came out of the hall filled with a one-line emotion: Viewing this film is beneficial to parents' minds.
Put simply, the movie is about a gang of girls and their amorous adventures. Set in Mangalore, one of Karnataka's fastest-growing cities, the movie showcases GenX-GenEx conflict. Some of the questions the movie tries to answer: How are traditional families coping with dizzying urban pace? How do parents guide adolescents? How much should you intervene in your child's present and future? For boys and girls, there is separate set of insights: Love is a test, it is the ultimate leveller, never hide love from your family...
Next morning, when the three of us went to meet the director, Shashank, and his crew, we understood why the film had moved so many hearts. As the director intoned, the film explores all kinds of relationships -- parent-daughter, husband-wife, girlfriend-boyfriend, girl-teacher -- in the context of a changing urbanscape. Its rules are simple:
"You need to have a girl to disco... It was the only way I could go to a disco, for instance," Shashank told us.
It's these new urban rules that Shashank is highlighting in his film and suggesting how to adapt. He is talking about connect, in love, life, and across generations. But why has the idea of connect become so important?
Just look around you. If you are 50, you are surrounded by at least seven generations, each spouting its own urban lingo. Line up the icons they identify themselves with. Let's start with a five-year-old, who speaks the language of Ben10. Now move up the gen ladder, and you will have a list that starts with Hannah Montana and ends with Sarah Jessica Parker.
After seeing Moggin Manasu, I realise childhood, like adolescence, is a test. It is a journey where parental involvement is minimal-sometimes subtle. Here, parents put the signposts, kids set out on life's journey.
Yes, it is all about creating a happy Ben 10 family.
Email:vinaykamat@dnaindia.net
