Of the all the sessions on the second day of the 10th World Zoroastrian Congress, the one on ‘Late marriages and divorce amongst Parsis’ was probably the most engaging one for speakers as well as for the audience. Married and soon-to-be married couples and Parsi boys and girls were all part of this talk.
“These days’ girls refuse to give in and adjust. They say, ‘I am not going to listen to what my husband says. Similarly, nowadays, boys are mostly ‘mama’s boy’,” said Taubon Irani, advocate.
A lack of adjustment, according to her, is one of the main reasons for divorces. “I had a case, where the couple wanted a divorce just a day after their marriage. What I have realised is that the tolerance levels among couples are decreasing,” said Irani.
Advocate Firoze Andhyarujina, another speaker listed out some of the prominent issues that fueled the problems of late marriages. Youngsters living in their forefather’s glory and not taking any initiative, not willing to compromise, break down of traditional family set up, intolerance and girls being more ambitious were some examples.
“Another issue is that parents have now started to interfer in their children’s lives a lot. Earlier, if they had a problem, parents used to blatantly tell them to deal their own issues,” said Andhyarujina.
“Parents unlike those of other communities are not after their daughters to get married. By the age of 25, parents in other communities are after them to settle down. Our parents are too liberal and when marriages are on a verge of break down, instead of resolving the issue, they are fine, if their child gets a divorce,” said Armaity Khushrushahi, advocate.
“Immigration is also a big problem. There are some, who do not even want to move to another city or country after marriage,” she added. Speakers emphasised the need of pre-marriage and pre-divorce counseling for couples.
Speakers also dispelled some myths of audience of early marriages that prohibited them from taking a plunge. “It is a saying that marrying at 20 is like leaving a party at 8pm. What do you have to say about that,” asked a man from the audience. “Life is not a party. But if you marry early, you can keep partying,” quipped one of the speakers.
Battling the main issues
Some of the prominent issues that fueled the problems of late marriages. Youngsters living in their forefather’s glory and not taking any initiative, not willing to compromise, break down of traditional family set up, intolerance and girls being more ambitious were some examples.
Another issue is that parents have started interfering in children’s lives more than before.