Love in the time of being HIV+

A narrow flight of steps leads on to a community hall, where on stepping inside, a nervous murmur of men and women becomes apparent. Over a hundred men and close to forty women had assembled at Jhulelal Hall in Kurla West aspiring to find love and companionship. The get together was organised by The Network by People living with HIV in Mumbai (NPM+) for the fourth year in a row. It is one of a kind 'mela,' in Mumbai, said Amol Deware, a social worker with NPM+. The fair that began at 10 am on Saturday went on until after 5 pm. The participants had to introduce themselves and express their expectations from a potential partner after which meetings were arranged between interested persons that were coordinated by the social workers.

26-year-old Prasad *names have been changed to protect identity) came to the gathering after his family pressurized him to get married. He says that his mother is unaware of his HIV positive status. "I intend to find a suitable bride in the gathering and keep the information of his and his future wife's status confidential. I cannot spoil any healthy girl's life by marrying her," he says. "I have met three girls of which I liked one. She liked me too. We will meet for the second time at NPM+ office to discuss further prospects."

At a remote corner of the hall, Mary (31) resplendent in a golden pink sari is smiling shyly. She met Jonathan (34) at the fair and they have now taken a liking to each other. Both Christian Protestants mutually initiated a meeting after listening each other out on the stage. "I am expecting that my life partner come with me to the church and attend prayers. We should develop a spiritual rapport," said Mary. She was infected by her husband and only realised that she was HIV positive after the husband died in 2004.

"I was married off at 17 and kept in dark about by husband's positive status. After my husband died, I was tortured by my in-laws. My three and half year old daughter died of HIV too. My son who is now 12 does not have HIV. My in-laws have taken him away to Pune," Mary said. Despite many tragedies, Mary's face is elusive of sadness. She has learnt to live with HIV and deal with death.

"After my husband died, I fell in love with a fellow patient who came to seek treatment at Sion Hospital. He too died few years ago," recounts Mary. With Jonathan, she expects to start a new life.
Of the gathering arranged last year, ten couples had ended up marrying. This time around, Deware informs that eight couples have vouched to continue their talks farther and hopefully tie the knot in future.