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Since Mumbai has decided to party hard this year, partly to make up for last year’s losses (economy tanked, terror attacks), here are some tips, pointers, things to look out for.

Do not leave your house on New Year’s eve under any circumstances. How to party you ask? Invite people over. That way, they will have to deal with endless frustration of traffic jams, mad crowds and no alcohol. You will be comfortable drinking at home, listening to music, watching television and eating.

If you have to leave home, walk. That way the drink driving cops can’t catch you and you will not be caught in traffic jams.

If your friends live in Goregaon and you live in Belapur, make new friends for New Year’s. Plan a proper party after all the trans-harbour links and west to east link roads are ready.

Plan an online, webcam party. Technology is marvellous and offers all kinds of options - twittering, you-tubing, face-booking, orkuting, second-lifing, avataring… I can bet you know more than me about this.

Don’t spend loads of dosh on some ready-made hotel party. It will be a con and you will lose all your money. And you may not even have fun doing it, which defeats the purpose of losing money. And that dancing girl may not be a famous item dancer chick but a poor imitation of it.

If you do want to risk it and go out (you are possibly quite young or quite foolish) fix up where you’re going to meet all your near and dear ones for breakfast beforehand. This is very helpful in case you lose or misplace them along the way.

Under no circumstances should you fix up a love tryst for New Year’s. This is one night where Murphy’s Law rules. You will flirt with the wrong person, you will forget flowers or a gift or a kiss at the right moment, you will get lost and not ask for directions, you will drink too much or to little, you will be dressed wrongly and all these will lead to fights. It’s better to party with strangers. No expectation no loss. Also: never, never do a first date on New Year’s. Disaster lurks at every corner.

If you don’t drink, well, I am not sure what kind of a party you can have on orange juice, so you will be safe on all counts. Note: if you are addicted to Red Bull, then you are not safe.

Make sure that you misbehave enough not to remember and that you get a hangover the next day. There is no point otherwise. When you get a hangover, the only thing that works is water, eggs and the hair of the dog. What better way to start the New Year than with a drink?

Happy New Year! See you in 2010.