Column

The Spectator

Apropos of absolutely nothing at all I’d like to say that of all the values I have acquired-procrastination is perhaps one of the most valuable.

Think about it, there you are having to meet a deadline, give in a school project, prepare a speech for an office presentation, review a book the size of War and Peace, or some such hairy thing — and your mind is blocked, your body is tense, your heart is scared — and what do you do?

You put off whatever it is that is so tormenting you, and eat a plate of pani-puri!

Brilliant! Inspirational!

Having slurped through your diversion you return to the work-in-hand, relaxed, rejuvenated, newly inspired, and ready to tackle it, but know you cannot until you’ve settled your desk! Delicious!

Having settled your desk, you seem to be on something of a roll, the ideas seem to be working themselves through in your head on their own, and somehow you are less scared, calmer, and a bit closer to taking up the work at hand — but not before you watch the news on the TV.

(After all any thing could have happened to the world while you were eating pani-puri and settling your desk-and for all you know there could be a news item that could directly impact the work you are about to settle down to, and change the way you deal with it.)

So, you watch the news, and after that, because it’s all so depressing and heavy, you switch to some other channel for some light entertainment — and all the while you know that you have done absolutely the correct thing, because while you have eaten the pani puri, settled your desk, watched the news and your favourite soap and some Bollywood hits you have been preparing to approach your assignment with breath taking clarity — and now you feel you’re ready to sit down and take up your task — but not before spending some time with your family, (because the thought comes to you quite reasonably that through the whole process of settling down to your work, you have neglected them quite thoughtlessly,) so you drop in on your mother and then your son, and spend a little time with them just shooting the breeze — catching up, all the while keeping in mind your deadline of course.

By now you are all set to start work good and proper on the job that you have spent so much time preparing for —when you realise that all this eating of pani puri, settling your desk, watching TV and spending time with your family has fogged up your mind a little, and you think a walk will definitely clear things up, so you take a little walk — nothing too ambitious, just a little stroll around your neighbourhood for inspiration.

By now the day is almost over, and you are completely and brilliantly ready to finish your job, and guess what —that’s exactly what you do: with precision, clarity, deft grace and unseemly haste.

And if you think this foolproof method doesn’t work, think again gentle reader,because this is exactly how this column came to be written!

s_malavika@dnaindia.net