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The Spectator
No, I’m not a Bond fan. Men with guns, men who scowl, men who like their women shaken and stirred are not for me. Sure they look good when they flex, they can make heads turn, they are great as eye candy, but they’re not the kind I take home to meet my mom. Perhaps because they’d probably hit on her.
Like most of the women I know I like SNAGS: sensitive new age guys. You know the kind: guys who paint, guys who knit, guys who will discuss their fears with you, guys with who you can watch Pather Panchali, guys who aren’t afraid of a few tears.
Give me a choice between Woody Allen and Warren Beatty and I’ll take the former. That’s because I find neurosis, anxiety, and good old vulnerability sexy.
I once went out with a guy with a lisp. Only because he had a lisp. It’s like dating some one with a limp, or a stutter. Things were going great until once at a Japanese restaurant he asked me if I would share ‘thick pieces of thalmon thuthi’ with him.
That was it. Out went the lisper. What I’m trying to say is that however much we love guys being sensitive and vulnerable, even wimps like us can’t handle too much of a good thing.
There is something like taking things too far. I know a guy who loved his dog so much that when she died he insisted on going to the electric crematorium for an emotional send-off fitting for his beloved pet. That he also took along his five year old son I think went a little too far, considering the kid was traumatised for years after.
How do you know when a guy displays signs of too much sensitivity? There’s a basic thumb-rule: for instance it’s OK — even cute —when a guy loves his mother to death. But loving her so much to warrant sleeping in the same bed with her? A little creepy. Especially when he’s over 10.
I could go on: borrowing your Tracy Chapman record is OK, borrowing your mascara is not. Wanting to hold hands and stare at the full moon is OK, wanting to hold hands and bay at the full moon to release your inner child is not. Being vegetarian and eating only sprouts and nuts is OK, being a vegetarian and insisting you turn into one makes him more nuts than the ones he eats.
No sir, as much as some of us women love our guys to be the kind to have the sensitivity to appreciate life’s finer moments and its softer side, some guys take it too far.
That’s when we start wondering if perhaps we’re the Bond kind of girls.