Column

Spectator

With the economy spiralling giddily upwards and new businesses being announced as furiously, one of the most poignant but overlooked phenomena in our daily lives is that of office colleagues becoming ex-colleagues so frequently.

Any one who has worked in an office knows the drill. A rumour about he or she being headhunted wafts down your corridor. You ignore it hoping it’s not true, then it gathers momentum and before you know it the concerned party is sitting across from you — telling you that they’re moving on, a trifle sheepishly, a bit chuffed, a bit sad, a bit nervous.

And while this is going on, you are left to deal with your own cocktail of emotions. Dismay— that you are losing a cherished colleague; regret —that you have not spent enough time getting to know them; fear — that your organisation is being targeted by its rivals for personnel; panic — that every one good may leave; a tinge of envy — that someone else is moving on; and all this along with having to express your hearty congratulations about some one’s good fortune.

It takes a host of skill-sets to come out on top of such a situation — and most of us just muddle along when faced with it.

Then, of course, there are the mechanics of saying goodbye: a ‘jokey’ card is created, circulated and signed, a cake is ordered, much hugging and speech-making ensues-and then poof — they’re gone — with only an empty desk to remind you of who once sat there.

But your challenge does not end there. No sir — there’s more: given the way things are in most likelihood your ex-colleague has moved to a rival establishment — most probably exactly the one which you and they have spent all their waking hours trying to trump in the marketplace.

Now what do you do? Of course you want to separate the human being who you regard dearly from the threatening organisation that they represent. And of course you would like to convey that nothing has changed, that the same affection and feelings exist between you and them.

But can they? Given that your life is busy, and so is theirs; that HR departments do not encourage fraternising with those from the ‘enemy’ camp, much less office visits from ex-colleagues — the opportunities to meet become fewer and fewer. And somewhere, your dear ex-colleague and you, though you have every intention of not allowing a job change to alter your friendship, drift away from each other.

I met an ex-colleague of mine two nights ago at a movie theatre. Someone who I adored and had worked with for many years. After the initial whoops of delight I felt sad and a little confused by all the emotions I underwent: I greeted him with the same warmth that I would have had we been colleagues, but even to my ears it felt misplaced. I was overcome with guilt for not keeping in touch; I felt gratitude for the good old days, and there was a certain poignancy for the separation.

Ex-colleagues are a little like ex-lovers. And though we have reams written on how to deal with the latter — there’s virtually nothing to guide us about the former — even though they’ve become such a common occurrence in our daily lives!

s_malavika@dnaindia.net