Column

My mother, who reads five newspapers and watches as many TV news channels daily, was telling me this morning, “It’s time that you too wore a hat. Look at Parmeshwar Godrej and how international stars like Richard Gere, Imran Khan and Goldie Hawn are her friends because she wears a hat.”

Mum, I said, international stars like Goldie Hawn, Imran Khan and Richard Gere are friends of Parmeshwar Godrej not because she wears a hat, but because she is India’s leading social philanthropist and is doing so much good work in AIDS relief and awareness. Look, how she managed to get Bipasha Basu to do that dance the other day.

“Say what you will,” my mother replied, “but everyone who is rich and powerful these days is wearing a hat. I really think a hat will change your image for the better.”

Mum, everyone rich and powerful does not wear a hat, though I concede Cyrus Poonawalla does wear one and my friend Shobhaa De too did wear one, but only to the Derby and that’s because it is a custom in South Mumbai for all glamorous people to wear hats to the Derby, but you cannot assume that all rich and powerful people wear hats — that is not a scientifically proven statement.

“What about Himesh Reshammiya then?” said my mother. “Look how successful he has become only because he wears his hat. I am sure he listened to his mother and wore a hat. I wish you would not argue with me, remember you may think you are a mature woman and all that but for me you are still my small child and I wish you would wear a hat...”

Himesh Reshammiya is a very successful singer I know, I said to my mum, but though his hat may have contributed to a bit of his success, it is mainly because there are people who like his singing through his nose.

“Again you are arguing!” said my mother, “today’s children are always arguing — just because you work for a newspaper you should not think you know everything! All successful people I know in this country wear some kind of headgear. Look at our Prime Minster Manmohan Singh and his right-hand Montek Singh Ahluwalia — what can you say about them?” said my mother.

Mum, I said, Manmohan and Montek are possibly two of the most important people in the country and yes I have to admit that their turbans add to their charisma, but they are powerful because they are two brilliant men both committed to reform and globalisation and all that.

In any case, I said, they are not the most powerful people in India, the most powerful person in the country, as you well know is Sonia Gandhi — and you know as well as I do that she does not wear a hat.

“That’s because she keeps many things under it,” said my mother.

s_malavika@dnaindia.net