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ShareA fortnightly, and forthright,column that charts the rather choppy waters of trying to parent teenagers
I had read about how it is important to let your kids fly the coop when they develop wings of their own -- for studies, careers...or a host of other reasons.
What hit me hard is how quickly teens, even while sharing your home, can develop a mind and a space all their own. It is some of the most mundane things of life that bring home this fact. Hard...and quickly!
The 'S' word, for one, is an important indicator of this and lest any one-track mind wanders to a three-letter word, what I am referring to here is 'Shopping', particularly for clothes.
Like all parents, I spent the first decade and a little more of the kids' growing years seeking out shops that offered suitable raiment. Willy-nilly, without questioning my choice, they donned what they received. It was another matter altogether that sometimes a few of my purchases remained in the cupboard till the next 'occasion'.
This was before the malls descended on Mumbai with their plethora of choices. This coincided beautifully with the elder of my brood approaching her teen-dom. For the first few outings, we shopped together. Or to put it more accurately, she shopped, I paid up!
I made my token protest, hurt at being denied the power to outfit my gal. "Mum, not that colour," she groaned. "It's not in...." "That Tee's a bit too loose...." And what took the cake was her outraged, "Do you really expect me to wear that?" And when I raised my eyebrows at a racer-back or a tube top, she won me over instantly by also picking up a beautiful kurti!
So, taking cold comfort in the fact that my son still lets me pick out his jeans and T-shirts -- as long as the Tees have a football mention on them somewhere -- I now turn politely into companion and driver on our shopping sprees. (What happens when I shop and she comes along as my consultant, is a different tale altogether!)
It is enlightening watching teens of today step out confidently with a fixed amount in their heads. It is incredible -- that if they are told that this is where the line is drawn -- they do work within it.
A shopping expedition is not just a step-out-and-buy event. Well, that does happen occasionally. By and large from the conversations I inadvertently eavesdrop on, I have realised that the girls do first scout for the outlet that offers value for money.... And they are pretty clear about what they want.
Just a few days ago, I ferried both my kids to two shops in Bandra and one in Colaba. As I waited patiently in the car, the two teens trooped out enthusiastically and returned an hour later, smiles on their face. They had struck deals in the shops, and a deal between themselves, so that the younger one could help his sister decide. In fact, I was quite amused to learn that while my daughter tried out her stuff in the trial room, this 13-year-old dude struck up a conversation with a mother, whose daughter was also trying on stuff.
It was an outing well spent, literally and metaphorically.
parenttrap@dnaindia.net
