Column

The Spectator

It’s that time of the year. When New Year Resolutions are rife in the air. You know the good ones that we all make and know we’ll break — the hoary old acorns that have to do with waking earlier, eating healthy, exercising more.

Show me a New Year resolution list-maker and I’ll point out at least three that are universally good and great — and unachievable.

Then, of course, there are the resolutions that emanate from what I call the cult of cutesy Internet wisdom. These have to do with encouraging you to laugh more, walk in the rain, hug your grandpa, cuddle your pet, etc.

But the resolutions that I’m making right now are neither good nor cutesy. They’re the nitty gritty life savers that you wish you had followed all through the year — but didn’t because they sounded too trivial or too obvious to include in your New Year resolution list. Here’s mine:

I vow next year to remember to pack my mobile charger when I’m going somewhere — and always always to see that I disengage it from my hotel room when I return. There must be a Heaven to which all lost mobile chargers depart — and I don’t want to crowd it with any more of mine.

I vow next year that I will never ever scribble numbers without writing who or what they belong to. This is because I have millions of little notes that read: 9876545677 or even L-896 red4589S-and I haven’t a clue what they mean.

I vow next year to always always give myself at least half-an-hour before I say yes to an invitation regardless of whether I can really go. This is because after years of acute diary mismatch and some very irate hosts I have decided to live by the straight and narrow.

I promise next year to watch more of the good channels like Discovery, National Geographic and the History Channel and less of Zoom, Sony and Star Plus so that I too can expand my vision and knowledge and IQ, etc.

I vow next year that I will remember to take my camera along to holidays so I can have beautiful memorable pictures to show my friends and family when I grow old.

I promise next year that I will try and cultivate to the best of my ability apoker face, so that I will not as I normally do — have a neon sign that advertises all my thoughts as I think them in my head.

And that’s not all: I promise that I will be organised and decide what to wear at least an hour before I have to go out to a party, and not as I do leave it to the absolute last moment when I scramble madly — and hopelessly — in the face of sartorial disaster.

And this one’s the biggie: I promise next year to put all CDs and DVDs back in the right cases after I have finished listening to them so that I don’t end up with a hopeless jumble with my Tracy Chapman CD in my Shivkumar Sharma case.

And oh yes, the usual — I also promise to use sunscreen, floss and eat more greens!

s_malavika@dnaindia.net