Column

The Spectator...

My mother who reads five newspapers each day and watches as many TV news channels rang me up this morning. “So, how come you have not congratulated Ratan Tata on the Corus deal and said what a great thing it is for India and how come you don’t have a story to tell about Ratan Tata in the old days preferring Parsi food? Every one is giving interviews about the times when they knew him when he was an ordinary person.”

I said Mum, the reason why I am not giving interviews about Ratan Tata is that as you well know I don’t know him, and in any case he is a very private man, and I don’t think he would like stories about himself preferring Parsi food or carrying his own brief case made public knowledge — and in any case — Ratan Tata hails from the illustrious Tata family and for all his simplicity, I don’t think he was ever an ordinary person.

“Yes, yes,” said my mother, “You are always having theories about this and that, just because you work in a newspaper. But let me tell you that no one wants to read about all your views on the world. Just now they only want to know about Ratan Tata and how he feeds his dog, Tito, Swiss chocolates every morning...”

Mum, I said, why do you always bring my newspaper in to the conversation? It is neither here nor there. The reason why people want to read about Ratan Tata’s dog Tito eating Swiss chocolates is because he is a very private man — and any thing about him is interesting — but that does not mean that I can make up stories about him just so that my columns are interesting! I genuinely do not know the man!

“What about running in to him taking a walk on Juhu beach in the old days when he used to visit his father’s shack? Rack your brains — can’t you remember meeting him even once? After all, you lived in Juhu too.” Said my mother.

Mum, I said, I know I lived in Juhu and his father’s cottage was just down the road — but the Juhu I lived in was a different world from that of the Tatas — in those days the only celebrities we saw on the beach were the Khan brothers, and that too not Salman and Sohail but Feroze and Sanjay.

“You have always been a stubborn child,” said my mother, “and that is why you are not getting ahead in life! When the whole world is writing about Ratan Tata and his dog Tito and even his Alsatian — who is very ferocious —only you want to be left out and not congratulate him on the front page or tell stories about what he was like before the Corus deal. It is useless talking to you and trying to put sense in your head, obviously you have nothing of any consequence to say about Ratan Tata and so I am putting the phone down — as there is no point carrying on this conversation with you!”

OK, I said to my mum — Tata.

s_malavika@dnaindia.net