Column

The Spectator

I do not know about you, but choosing a new mobile phone for myself has become a profoundly introspective process, one that involves deep and meaningful questions, and leads me to many fascinating insights about myself.

Am I for instance a ‘business mobility — mobilising’ kind of woman? One who requires ‘a wide, high-resolution screen, broadband data connectivity, large memory capacity, and improved security?’ And if I am, what does that say about me?

That I am a dyed-in-the-wool workaholic? Someone who expects office communications on the run, and receives documents on the go? Some one who hates holidays, is perennially connected to web and works 24x7? Some one who cannot go a moment without being wired?

Or am I more the ‘groove-on, move-on personal jukebox, song-catcher, caller-tune happy-go- lucky’ kind of girl who needs to click her fingers and shake a leg?

Shall my new phone come in happy, peppy colours reflecting the sunshine in my outlook and my soul — or shall I go in for a lean mean metallic gray that speaks volumes for my inclinations? Do I want a phone that shouts bells and whistles and reflects a clunky, chunky attitude — or shall I go in for a plain vanilla that begs to be ignored and overlooked? And if so — is that an indication of my personality type?

Do I want to stick to my old preferred brand — and does that prove what a faithful old dog I am, unadventurous and locked in to my comfort zone — or will I be prepared to cross the floor and take on a whole new interface? And what will that say about my approach to life itself?

Shall my phone convey a ‘don’t touch me’, hands-off kind of vibe, shall it aim to impress and intimidate? Or shall it be a regular joe — a common garden variety kind of object?

Do I want it to look friendly and inviting — a conversation starter? Or a snooty hands-off, status symbol? Should it shout ‘look at me-touch me?’ Or whisper ‘please go away, leave me alone’?

Will I choose a phone whose primary function is sms? And does that mean I’ve got a whole bunch of friends to whom I’ve got a whole bunch of things to say? Or am I a more visual type of person — who will choose a phone with a sophisticated inbuilt camera?

Am I trendoid? Will I choose the phone of the moment, the one that’s the most fashionable and popular? Or am I a grunge or a geek and eschew the smart new models for something clunky and functional?

Will my phone be loaded with every kind of new and wonderful breakthrough in technology — do I swear by convergence — and am I techno savvy? Or will it be a single purpose, outdated, uninventive one for me?

So many questions! Am I the only person in the world who asks so many deep and disturbing questions when I have to choose a new mobile phone?

s_malavika@dnaindia.net