Dear Goddess Lakshmi,
Hope you are well and this letter finds you in great spirits.
I write to thank you for that much needed flutter on the Sensex on Wednesday when it recorded an all time high of 21,034.
That was a cool thing you did Lakhs, and though I am not an investor and the only market I am familiar with is the ‘Bhaji gully’ on Grant road, I am happy for those in whose homes a brighter Diwali will be manifested this year.
Thing is Lakshmi, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s been pretty thandaa around these parts recently.
Onion prices up, the zeroes on each new government scam increasing exponentially and the other day when I met Bhappi Lahriji at the Society Young Achievers Awards (I know, don’t even ask) I swear his gold quotient had significantly dropped.
Which reminds me to put in a word with you for Vijay Mallya.
See, our Vijay bhai, as you know, is not up to scratch these days. Yes, yes, we are assured that he is still owner of one of largest yachts, the best decorated private plane, the swankiest homes and fastest horses around the world but ... er, if only Vijay had a little more cash left over, perhaps he could pay the salaries of his Kingfisher employees? Then they could have a happy Diwali too, right?
Which brings me to all those over-leveraged billionaires we see swanning around the playgrounds of India and Europe. You know, the ones who the pink papers say have borrowed enough money to fund a new American war in the Middle East.
Perhaps if you smile your lovely smile on them dear Lakshmi, they could pay off the banks they have incurred those staggering loans from, so that the rest of the middle class is not hounded on their scooter and TV and home EMIs by the vicious money collection arms of the very same banks?
I mean think about it: you borrow 25k from a bank and you face harassment and shame for the rest of your life. You borrow half a billion and you go laughing all the way to the same bank, to take your friendly banker out for a drink… to Gstaad!
Doesn’t make sense right?
And now that we are on the subject of stomach-churning disparity, spare a thought for the drought-stricken farmers of Maharashtra, the ones who hang themselves with heartbreaking regularity for pitiful sums.
Can you redistribute some of the wealth between the irrigation ministers of the state, past and present, and the miserable drought-hit farmers?
It would not require even a child’s calculator-really! Just pick Ajit Pawar’s pocket one ordinary day and whoosh: farmer suicide problem solved forever.
But of course, I know you have other things to do, dear Lakshmi, as this incident from last night reveals: when I got into my car to come home from Peddar Road, I was startled to see a dozen stray cats under the hood.
They were feasting off plastic bowls filled with food.
Startled, I looked around to identify their benefactor and from the shadows emerged an emaciated lady in tatters. “What the ...??” I said and she replied, “It’s me. I come each week from Ambarnath to feed these cats. Been doing it for years.”
That was you Lakshmi, right? Emaciated, bent and unrecognisable, but fulfilling your promise of bringing succour to the hungry and needy. Regardless of what people say about you Lakshmi, I know it was you.
So happy Diwali and keep up the good work!
Yours sincerely, etc
Malavika Sangghvi can be contacted at malavikasangghvi @hotmail.com
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