Forget 'paani', enjoy the pure 'paani-puri'

Our city’s politicians are suddenly worked up by the humble paani-puri. Sizzling like samosas in hot oil, our rulers have been advocating stern regulations that govern the way paani-puri is served by street vendors. They want the vendors to use gloves and bottled water. Almost a decade ago, several tiny outlets had started using the expensive paani; this new crusade of cleanliness aspires to make bottled water the norm for all paani-puri peddlers.

It is a noble cause, of course. Anything that reduces the risk of stomach ailments should be welcomed by Mumbaikars, a majority of whom regularly eat at roadside stalls. However, I wonder what order of priority should be accorded to making the spicy savoury safe. Will the next mission involve cutting down bacteria count in vada-pav? Or ensuring that omelette sellers have reliable equipment to detect the presence of salmonella? One of the abiding images of roadside stalls is their resilience. Often there is no road, and yet you will see the stalls perched on edges of trenches formed by the MMRDA’s excavations.

Talking of the city’s wild west, it has emerged that the BMC’s repair work on the Marol underground tunnel will result in a four-day water cut for residents of the western suburbs. Nowhere in the civilised world are residents forced to endure such a hardship over such an extended period of time. I mean, I have heard of civic projects. So, unless people have bore wells, they may have to forgo bathing. It is doubtful if bottled-water paani-puri will offer any solace in such a situation. Contrast this scene with what happens in southern California, a region that was struck by drought just a year ago. The local government has made provisions to import water for some 19 million Californians. Sure that would cost a lot of money, but Californian authorities have determined that they have to prioritise the expenditure of taxpayers’ money.

Here in Mumbai, politicians are mocking taxpayers by focusing on a triviality. They do not waver when it comes to beautification drives. But when it comes to providing and maintaining basic infrastructure, they always prevaricate and make mendacious noises about intractable problems requiring long-term solutions. I would suggest that instead of touring Shanghai — no doubt quaffing gallons of bottled water to mitigate the rigours of their ‘field study’ — our lawmakers examine the civic history of Rome.

The Romans built aqueducts, carriageways for water, which snaked across miles, supplying water to a large urban population. Roman engineers developed the aqueducts because springs, wells, and the Tiber River were unable to provide usable water. And when was the engineering genius demonstrated? Fourth century BC! There you have it. Well, some of our lawmakers would argue that Romans could think of such solutions because there were no distractions — like paani-puri!

I know that out politicians are a busy lot, what with Adarsh and other South Mumbai buildings that magically sprout more floors than the innocent builders bargained for. In such circumstances, we cannot expect them to dwell on infrastructure. They have far more serious concerns to contend with. The paani-puri mission may just turn out to be the feel-good project Mumbaikars are craving for. Forget the roads that ebb ruggedly like the Australian outback; forget the avaricious tax-drivers at airports; forget even Air India that occasionally takes off. Enjoy a safe paani-puri and cherish the fact that you live in Maximum City. I hope our politicians’ next endeavour would be to make sure that those who sell ‘shing’ at traffic intersections use silver foil.