Want a BFF in Mumbai? Be a fag hag

The Kashish International Queer Film Festival begins in the city today. In its second edition, it has received a fair amount of attention from not just the LGBT community, but film buffs in general. So this is as good a time as any to talk of Maximum Mumbai from a fag hag’s perspective.

For those not in the know, or squeamish about the term, here’s the rather boring explanation: a fag hag is colloquialese for a straight female, who counts amongst her close friends, men from the LGBT community, read: gay men.

In fact, tabloids termed style maven Victoria Beckham a fag hag because she famously declared that all the men who liked her were gay. A close association with the fashion world would inevitably result in many such bonds, as some of the most iconic members of the LGBT community belong here — globally.

Think American designer Tom Ford and his partner of 25 years Richard Buckley; or the late British genius Alexander McQueen and his tempestuous relationship with partner George Forsyth. Or closer home; think veteran designer Wendell Rodricks and his-long time partner Jerome.

I am not for a moment implying that the fashion world has sole claim over the term or the icons in the community. You only have to think Elton John or George Michael or recently, Ricky Martin in music, or Auden or Isherwood or Spender in literature or B-Town’s leading gay directors (and their several close lady friends, their ‘fag hags’) to understand that.

Anyway, as one who has a fair amount of friends from the LGBT community, I’ve always found it interesting that you can go out with your gay men friends till the wee hours, talk till kingdom come on the phone and nobody bats an eyelid — not your family, nor the neighbours.

Your male companion is perceived ‘safe’. And more often than not, he will offer a perspective on life which is both incisive (somehow gay men tend to cut to the heart of the matter and many don’t mince words) and engaging. Of course, that very gayness might have taken a while to be ‘outed’, our society being what it is.
One of my friends mentioned a path-breaking documentary, which is how one such from the community captured his coming out to his mother.

The film, Summer in My Veins, was apparently shot at a time when Section 377 (of the IPC) criminalised homosexual behaviour here. Though it has been decriminalised since, societal pressures (here and the world over) are still difficult to overcome, as shown in recent coming of age movies — Brokeback Mountain in Hollywood or My Brother Nikhil in B-Town.

Change in perspective though, is inevitable, with the community seeking prominence and acceptance in the form of Gay Pride marches (members from B-town show support here, like actor Celina Jaitley), film festivals like Kashish and of course the mixers — Mumbai currently has two prominent groups as platforms, which also organise get-togethers — Gay Bombay and Salvation Star.

Meanwhile, Mumbai’s fag hags absolutely revel in the fact that apart from being ‘safe’ companions to party into the wee hours with, many among their gay friends love to shop, enjoy gossip and won’t ever steal their straight significant others — What more can you ask for, in a BFF (best friends forever for those not in the know) in Maximum city?!