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ShareMost people today don't really own the things they thought were theirs -- right from television sets to cars, houses, and even their pair of Levis. Blame this on the loans and EMIs thathave taken over our lives. Now, life's not lived in decades but in EMIs, only because of how attractive advertising make these seem. When agencies heard a brief about loans, their cigarettes skipped a puff. 'WHAT? You don't have to actually buy it, but you use it? That's like our office.' It was this zest and happiness that translated to ideas in this category we see today.
Home loans
There are normal families and there is the family in a home loan ad that surely doesn't live in your building. It looks content, wears starched clothes, the children play, the wife looks happy in the kitchen with a helpful husband and their curtains are always fluttering. Everything is clean, like they expect guests anytime, and there aren't any cockroaches either. The homes in these ads never have leakages in the bathroom, seepage in the walls or pesky neighbours. These homes are also made available by bank's polite personnel without any hassles or greedy brokers, much to the disbelief of a father tending to a garden. It's a dream come true; only till it does.
Car loans
When Indians found they could own a car without fully paying for it, the government built flyovers. Wow, I do not even have to bargain, they're just letting me have the damn car, they thought. Car loan ads drift away from the truth at 25 rpm. It usually has a young bloke driving a car he doesn't yet own. The road is smooth and his lower back is as happy as the traditional wife next to him. There is a happy kid because he doesn't yet know he's paying the last installment. Painting this glorious picture, a car loan ad encourages buying, pollution, and traffic.
Children's plans
Everyone likes to plan -- about day-to-day things and the future -- which explains the significant rise in the sale of planners and employment of CAs. Right after the child is born, his/her non-existent ambitions are planned for -- from an astronaut to studying abroad -- papa, and not the uncle, has taken care of everything. The mother, though modern, is portrayed as the non-contributing member of the family, and sits in a corner and smiles. Totally male chauvinist, children's plans ads sometimes go to the extent of a kid asking his father what he has planned for his future. Clearly, the kid believes in planning since either he thinks his dad won't make the cut 10 years later or he doesn't want to do anything himself.
Retirement plans
Most retirement plan ads show the man (women, except Tulika Sharma) don't work in India. They have an offer letter in one hand and a retirement plan in the other. According to a retirement plan ad, the guy who does not even know what he was doing in the evening has planned his retirement date. Of course, he is the only one to know about this plan and he informs everyone without taking cuts from the bank. Why 30-something males choose to talk about these things over beer or EPL remains to be understood, just like the plans.
Life insurance
The 'Bureau of Medical Alarm' says today everything can kill you. There are so many more ways one can die -- AIDS, terrorist attacks, swine flu, and body odour in a local train. The need for life insurance, hence, is at its highest. If your life isn't insured, how will you live poor and die rich? If death is taken care of, why worry about life? Which is why the guy who has an insurance is shown to be unafraid to try bizarre things like climbing stairs. He is unusually enthusiastic, playing, skipping, jumping, whatever. His dinner table has a pyramid of samosas and bhaturas. The family is happy with a smiling wife who's secretly hoping for the husband to be road-killed since he looks like one anyway.
Nobody's worried, nobody's buying (just owning), only men work and plan everything about life except groceries and other day-to-day things. Most importantly, happiness, satisfaction and life, all come in EMIs. Jai Hind.
(The columnist is a writer &producer, and has authored the book -- Welcome To Advertising, Now Get Lost)
