Book review: Karl,' Aaj Aur Kal'

Cyrus the Virus has joined hands with Random House India to make a colossal bakra out of Indian readers — a Mega-Bakra to beat all the bakras he ever perpetrated on MTV. There is probably no bigger fan of Cyrus on this planet than yours truly, which is why it’s deeply painful to have to write a review that is not unqualified praise.

Cyrus is undoubtedly the funniest man in India. But what works so brilliantly on stage, on TV, in speech — doesn’t, in the confines of a book. For, about 80% of what makes Cyrus such a laugh riot is Cyrus himself — his motor-mouth delivery, his facial contortions, his irrepressible comic bulk, his persona, and most importantly, his spontaneity. This book seeks to do the impossible: to capture the butterfly-like fluttering brilliance of Cyrusness and pin it down in the pages of a book. What you get instead is Cyrusitis.

I could not finish Karl Aaj Aur Kal, hard though I tried. So there is nothing much I can say about the particulars of the novel — the storyline, characters, etc. But shouldn’t I at least have the decency to read the book in its entirety before dismissing it? Of course not.
Basically, the problems with this book are six-fold, and they are all slyly acknowledged in the preface Cyrus got his dog to write for him because he was “not feeling well.”

First and foremost, the author is a woman.

Second, the novel’s editor had an ingrown toenail that caused her to scream the entire time she was editing, as a result of which the writer got away with zero editing.

Third, the book was intended as a comedy, but due to the author’s revulsion toward Bill Clinton, was adapted into a historical dysentery with elements of nonsense and paragraphs but none whatsoever of readability.

Fourth, all the characters in the novel are dead, even the living ones. Especially the living ones.

Fifth, the book traces the journey of a brilliant comic from comedy to authorship and beyond, until eventually the comic realises that comedy is more fun than authorship, and will hopefully return to it.

Sixth, and this is very important so pay close attention — Karl Aaj Aur Kal is no indication of how good Cyrus is as a funnyman, so please don’t judge him by it. In the words of the author’s probable father, Elvis Presley, “Ignore it.”