Technology or family, it is for you to choose

From text messaging, Skype, social networking, blogging and emails, we have never had so many ways to communicate. However, are there times when the one-on-one communication between human beings falls through the cracks and technology can take control over a family?

Amrutha P, 35-year-old single mom of eight-year-old Meenakshi, believes gadgets are replacing quality time spent with one’s family. “I gifted an iPad to Meenakshi thinking she would make use of the interactive applications such as the paint tool or the math tool, but she got stuck to it for hours listening to her favourite singers,” says Amrutha.

“Constant warnings and finally hiding the iPad got her out of the habit. Before that,  she had her own world in which she had cocooned herself and seemed aloof from the activities of the rest of the family,” she says.

Amulya Ganesh, a 22-year-old student, took a very long time to get over the habit of being on the phone 24x7.Constant warning and guidance from parents saved her from being a cell phone addict.

“The knowledge bombardment from gizmos like laptops, iPads and cell phones is such that the desire to know more keeps you glued. The urge to do something constructive is lost and one loves to lead a solitary life with the gadget as his/her companion,” says Ganesh.

“Now I see my nephew and niece glued to their computer screens through the day. They feel lost in family gatherings and are eager to get back to their gizmos. But as cyber crimes are on the rise we keep a check on what the kids do on the net. Guidance from older members of the family helps them,” she feels.

Supra Sanyal, a 36-year-old teacher with two daughters, aged 12 and nine, says her home has been taken over by gizmos such as the PlayStation 3, Nintendo Wii, iPods and iPads. “These gadgets leave no space for family time as whenever my daughters have free time, they are glued to various screens. There is no physical activity as they sit in one place. I feel quite worried at time,” rues Sanyal, while admitting that she herself spends quite a bit of time on her laptop, checking social networking sites such as Facebook.

It’s not just computers; even the mobile phone eats into ‘us’-time, says Sanyal. “At the dinner table, we might be in the middle of a conversation but then someone’s phone rings and by the time they’re done, the others have finished dinner and gone to their rooms. Sometimes even the best food goes unfinished as we are so distracted by gadgets. Sometimes one hurries with food if one wants to go online or attend a phone call. All these are signs of being dependent on technology,” observes Supra.

Supra’s husband Debgiri Sanyal, 39, admits: “I am so engrossed in my laptop and my two daughters surfing their iPads that sometimes we don’t even hear the door bell ring.”

“I got my daughters iPads as they showed an interest in gadgets. I believed it would give them invaluable exposure but the dependency on the gadgets is something that needs to be controlled,” adds Debgiri.

However, others feel while technology has an all-pervasive presence in their lives, it doesn’t intrude. “I can’t call technology interfering as it has made life a lot easier for me. I am on the web while I am cooking and can shop online for exotic ingredients. Videos on YouTube and music on iPods help pass time when you are stuck in a car in traffic. Google maps guide you with directions in an unfamiliar place,” says Madhavi Mullagiri, an IT professional and mother of a three-and-a half-year-old.

Mullagiri feels technology has simplified life and brought families closer, instead of rendering them apart, by facilitating time spent together. “We now can book movie tickets online. Netbanking has saved a lot of time and energy. We don’t miss any appointments or any important dates or birthdays because we have reminders set on our laptops and phones. All in all, technology has proved to be a boon and not a bane,” she continues.

According to Arun Ramarathnam, Madhavi’s husband, communication in the form of gadgets opens many avenues to get well acquainted with the world. But technology as a medium should be efficiently used. “Parents should make a conscious effort to expose children to such media for a limited amount of time. Even though interactive applications open a world of knowledge for youngsters, it should be carefully managed,” he adds. 

According to Varsha Jitendra, sister of Amulya Ganesh, outdoor activities like trekking or picnics and movies provide a break from this world of isolation. There are also ways of making technology create talking points within the family. “We have individual TV sets for each of us in our rooms but the whole family sits together in the guest room watching TV, discussing the shows,” says Jitendra.

“Family communication will not be adversely affected by technology if it is monitored and controlled,” says Sunitha Ganesh, mother of Amulya and Varsha.