Malti Desai and husband Sumit Anand took 14 vows for their wedding instead of the customary seven. Malti, a Gujarati who works in the art department of an advertising agency and Sumit, a copywriter in the same agency, decided to make their wedding vows personalised.
Malti says, “We respect the traditional vows and will abide their diktats as well. But the other seven personalised vows were essential for a great relationship. Though, for many it may be good fun, we are serious about it.”Sumit adds, “Simple vows like not fighting over an advertisementmake a lot of sense. It helps maintain a hassle-free relationship.”
Milind Ray and Mansi Chaterjee beat them. “We got married in the US in a small temple and said our own vows which included: ‘Respecting each other’s parents and sharing household chores. We took the pheras to these vows. These made more sense to us than those that were designed centuries ago,” says Milind.
While young couples believe that asserting these vows in front of many will build a strong foundation for their wedding, a few believe that the added vows should be a bedroom ritual. Father Ruben says, “These days there are many couples who want to add to vows or change a few. But I usually try to make them understand that they must stick to what is inscribed.”
Marriage counselor Megha Tendulkar is of the opinion that if these vows are taken mutually then for a few it eases the wedding anxiety. She explains, “If both the partners have thought of the vows together and would like to assert it during the time of their marriage, it makes both feel more secure in the relationship. Though,you can’t hold a gun to your partner’s head if he or she can’t live up to all the vows."
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