There seems to something wrong with being genuinely nice these days. People perceive nice guys to have some hidden intentions at times.
Varun Arora, a businessman, is a person who is willing to offer help to any of his colleagues in need. But he thinks twice before helping a woman. “Some women feel that if someone is being nice to them, they are expecting something in return. I think it’s very stupid. I once helped a female colleague with an assignment which she was not able to complete. After that she questioned me why I was being so nice to her. I was put off straight away and left her on her own terms,” he says.
Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist, states that the concept of ‘nice guys’ doesn’t exist today because of various reason. “With girls the problem starts early in the teenage years. They get into a relationship very early these days. They are so young that are not even capable of handling a relationship. When they have a break-up, the guy becomes bad automatically. They carry this experience into their adulthood believing that good guys do not exist. Also when a girl has a father figure or a brother who has always abused her, then it’s very difficult for her to believe that guys can be nice,” says Seema.
Saurabh Kapoor is a college student. He hates being called a nice guy because of an experience had in the past. He says, “I like this girl who one told me ‘nice guys can be good fiends but can never be boyfriends’. She used to call me up and cry whenever her jerk boyfriend left her alone. I realised that she was taking my kindness for granted. And I stopped taking her calls. It’s certainly difficult to be genuine these days.”
The conclusion: Perhaps it’s important to be a nice human being but it’s also important to never let your self esteem be taken for a ride.
But on the other hand, women have fallen, time and again, for Mr. Darcy’s delicious arrogance, John Travolta’s leather jacketed recklessness and Rochester’s deep dark temper (never mind the mad ex-wife imprisoned in his basement).
After shedding buckets of tears, eating their way through the kitchen and hearing family and friends say, “I told you so”, these women are often left guilt-ridden and heartbroken, wondering, why does one always fall for the jerks?
There are many explanations. Scientists say that such men exude supreme confidence that is pheromone-like in its smell. But ask the smitten women and they will tell you about the pleasures of that fleeting moment when their rebellious, don’t-play-by-the-rules, emotionally unavailable man had spared them his attention. Good boys are good to everyone, what’s the fun in that?
Classy Sandra Bullock’s marriage to lowlife cheater Jesse James was a surprise to most fans although it is said that Bullock’s strict upbringing led her to pluck at some rebellion chords once she grew up.
Hollywood’s good girl Jennifer Aniston went running back to the resident bad boy John Mayer each time he publicly massacred their relationship in front of the press.
Actress Kim Sharma says, “I feel that there is no such thing as ‘good guy’ or a ‘bad guy’. If you like someone you opt for him. There are certain qualities about them that you really like. It may be his sense of humour, his style of dressing, personality…it could be anything. If these are the trademarks of a bad boy, then yes, women then do opt for bad boys. Personally love definitely has happened to me whether good or bad, but all that has mattered is the bond.”
However actor Aarzoo Govitrikar explains that, “There is a saying that goes something like, ‘good boys are boring’. It is something that has always been drilled into our heads.
But honestly speaking, at the end of the day if your bond is deep, a good boy or a bad boy does not matter. May be the bad boy knows how to play the game of love where as the good ones are too upfront which makes things dull. Therefore bad boys are always in demand.” But can such a relationship ever work out in the long run?
For Kim Sharma, love reigns supreme. She believes that, “If both the sides handle it well they can always make it work.”
Arzoo forewarns, “As we say people never change; a bad boy will always be a bad boy.”
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