Is inky tattoo kinky?

Rashi* used to flaunt her tattoo at every opportunity. She was proud of the 10-inch-wide psychedelic graphic on her lower back. “Its intricate detailing is what people notice,” says the 28-year-old Mumbai-based artist who assists a designer.

But the one she used to really love is a teasingly placed lily on her hip. You can see just the tip of a petal on her right hip above the waistband of her jeans. “I got it because I wanted to spend my first real salary on something that would last a lifetime — a mark of independence,” she says.

Indeed, a tattoo is a personal statement, usually signalling wildness of character. So it’s not surprising that it can be a big turn-on in bed. But it can also be a  huge put-off.

Rashi, for instance, loved her lily tattoo in an artistic, romantic way. Then, a boyfriend pointed out — just after sex — that it reminded him of a similar floral tattoo he had seen on the hip of a porn performer in a film.

“He had the audacity to tell me that the sex was good because my tattoo made him fantasise about a porn star," she says. "Naturally, I broke up with him. But I can’t get that comment out of my head. He ruined it [the lily tattoo] for me.”

Grotesque & exhibitionist

A tattoo can intrude into a relationship in unexpected ways, especially when the partners view it differently. 

Nrinalini*, 27, says she hates her husband’s tattoo. The 27-year-old journalist finds it “grotesque and exhibitionist”. Her husband is 32 and teaches at a prestigious university.

“To people he meets professionally, he is this serious person,” says Nrinalini. “Only when he’s in a T-shirt you can see parts of a black dragon tattoo peep out from under his sleeves. It pans across his shoulder blades and ends at either bicep — it’s huge!

“And he loves the attention he gets from people who notice his tattoo. Almost like a dual personality — a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde,” she says.

“It’s creepy too. When he moves, it’s almost like the dragon is alive and moving. And as if that weren’t enough, he got another tattoo done on his forearm.”

She doesn’t mind aesthetic tattoos but can’t understand why people get such unappealing, unseemly tattoos. “I think such people don’t feel too good about themselves and so undergo self-torture to become exhibitionist,” she says.

The tattoos disgust her. But, she says, it doesn’t affect her sex life. “I’m a lights-off kind of person, and thankfully, don’t have to see them.”

Erotic body art

For Nikhil Kothari, however, there’s no need to put the lights out. His wife Geetanjali’s tattoos are a turn-on.

A 25-year-old online marketer at the Future Group, Geetanjali has one tattoo on her arm and another floral design on the nape of her neck that curves to end at her shoulder. “Like the Rehab singer Rihanna’s,” she says.

Both her tattoos were to mark occasions. The first was on her first wedding anniversary in April 2009. The second was a few months later on her mother’s birthday.

The tattoo he finds erotic, says Nikhil, 30, who works with a radio station in the city, is the one on the nape of his wife’s neck.

Placing it well

The artwork of the tattoo as well as its placement can determine how it affects the partner. Most men agree that the nape, hip, breast, and lower back (and even the derriere) are exciting places for partners to have tattoos. Most women find tattoos on the back and shoulder most erotic.

PR executive Mariette Valsan, 23, has a Latin saying, “Where there is spirit there is also song”, tattooed on her neck, from her collar bone to her shoulder, while her boyfriend Kaveer, 24, has two tattoos, on his forearm and his shoulder.

“I like the fact that he has tattoos, but the graphic on his forearm is ghastly. His birthday tattooed on his shoulder is much better, and even gives a peek into his nutty and neat personality,” she says.

Kaveer agrees with her. “I’m impulsive, so decided on the tribal graffiti on my forearm in five minutes. I regret it now.” But he adds, “Mar’s [Mariette’s] tattoo is in a very nice place.”

*Names changed on request