In Ahmedabad, not just patnis, even patis accept wohs

Don’t be shocked if your wife says, “Dear, go and make your Valentine happy because I am busy entertaining mine!” Accept it and move on. Changing middle class mores are exerting a dramatic impact on the way we love today.

Many metros teem with patis and patnis whoare aware of the ‘woh’ in their lives! While some don’t mind the wohs, others nonchalantly ignore them, considering them to be the result of a human foible of their spouses that has to be accepted just as other quirks are.

Couples who make this mutual adjustment are said to have ‘open marriages’, a concept from the West that has a few takers in the city where conventional marriage is still cherished.

The Amdavadis who live in an open marriage say they also have to be open to enormous logistic efforts. Rima Shah (32) a techie, and her spouse Ketan Dalal, an architect, live in different cities and meet every weekend to join their twins. “Our life is an alternative to conventional arrangements,” Shah said.

“We both have to work to support our family and we actually prefer staying separately, in different cities, so that we can give ourselves some space.” Dalal said the adjustment suited them both. “We are free to mingle as if we are singles,” he said. “We appear to be a conventional couple when we are on family holidays or weekend outings. This mutual understanding has changed the dynamics
of our relationship and it works for us.”

Sejal Shah, a tech professional, and her spouse Hemal, an hotelier, are another couple who are experimenting an open marriage arrangement, “We both work in different cities and I think that this distance is necessary,” Shah said. “The distance cuts down the demands that a couple usually make on each other, and affords greater space. Staying together only over weekends works for us.”

Shah admits to spending a few evenings during weekdays with ‘someone else’ and is aware that Hemal too has an ever-changing list of partners. “We know that these new ‘someones’ and ‘Valentines’ are on probation while we are together permanently!” Shah said.