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Distance makes relations grow fonder
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Whosoever said distance makes relations grow fonder, must have been completely oblivious of the fact day some day it would be a consoling factor for couples who have opted for long distance marriage.
As more and more women are getting highly educated, they are also increasingly unwilling to let go their careers, for which they have worked so hard, even for marriage. Besides the factor ‘why-should-only-I-sacrifice’, growing economic pressures the ever burgeoning middle-class faces has given birth to concepts like long distances and weekend marriage. Today, couples get married, but decide not to give up on their professional lives. Women choose to pursue their work from where they are and necessarily need not join their spouses if he is residing in some other city or country at the cost of their jobs.
Dr Archana Gadekar, lecturer with the law faculty in Baroda, is one such example. She has been into distance marriage for eight years now. “For the success of such relations, you require tremendous support from your husband, family and especially in-laws. I have been fortunate on the count. At times it is taxing to handle everything single-handedly, but even that is an experience. But yes, given a chance, I would like to join my family at the first opportunity. Nothing can compensate you family,” she said.
What do couples exactly gain from this? “We have understood the importance of each other in our lives,” said Ketan Bavishi who works with the pharma industry and his wife with the I-T.
Together, they decided to stay separately to strengthen her profile and bolster their finances. So, she was in Japan for a while. “It was a tough time for both of us as we kept worrying about each others’ well-being. But distance further strengthened our relation.”
So, does that mean they would do it again? “No,” pat came the reply from Ketan, “we may do it, only if we are together.”
Behaviourial expert Hemant Mittal though sees this as a positive trend necessary for growth of a person, especially the female, also cautious against its flip side.
“Such couples need to make concrete and conscious effort for a copious communication. With spectacular strides in multimedia, couples should video-chat. Even seeing other virtually at times helps. Also, SMSes should keep going,” he suggests.
Hemant has also recommended holidaying together every few months to rekindle love in their lives. Also, he said, if practiced for a prolonged period of time, it may affect the ties as emotional link-up forms the core of any relationship.
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