Why you should avoid airing dirty laundry on social media

Off late social networking sites have become a platform to post and share public announcements, 'non-so' private messages to a partner/spouse, holiday pics and more. You can add one more to that never-ending list of shares – publicly shaming a spouse/partner for being a cheat. Airing dirty laundry in public is slowly becoming a trend of sorts. And with most treating social networking sites as their personal diaries, the lines between what's private and what can be put out there for public consumption is getting blurred with each passing day.

Status – 'He cheated on me'
Twenty-eight-year-old Raghav Jain recently deleted his facebook account because he could not deal with the humiliation coming his way as a result of his girlfriend outing him as a cheater on his wall. She did not hesitate to go ahead and share sordid details of how he cheated on her with another girl. Her posts received many likes and comments from common friends, with many ridiculing Raghav for what he had done. While his girlfriend probably saw this as the only way to find closure to this sordid mess, clinical psychologist and author, Seema Hingorrany says it made Raghav an easy target for everyone to play jury condemning him and his actions. A matter that should have been dealt privately became a public trial leaving Raghav feeling deeply anxious and depressed." Seema says while Raghav clearly admits that what he did was very wrong and his actions deeply hurt his girlfriend causing her grave emotional disturbance, he also feels, that this was a personal score and it could have been settled on one to one basis with him, rather than the whole world getting involved." For those thinking this is a one-off, it's not. Seema says an increasing number of youngsters are taking to social networking sites to publicly shame a partner/spouse for cheating on them. She says, "Many people express their frustration and hurt by being vengeful and hitting out at their partner. It's their way of getting back on him/her for all the pain and humilation they have experienced. While dealing with a betrayal of this sorts hurt should never be suppressed, however trying to get even by publicly shaming a spouse/partner again is not a healthy way to deal with such a crisis. It can and should be handled with more maturity."

One woman called Carmen updated her status to say her relationship went from 'being engaged to "it's complicated"', only for her partner to post below that, in fact, it wasn't complicated but that she got caught with numerous men. Another duo argued on her Facebook page after she posted that she hated cheaters and her partner made her 'sick'. He then shot back, 'Don't be a hypocrite, if I can remember correctly, I broke up with you two years ago because you cheated on me. Karma's a *****. Deal with it.'

A social networking site is not your clothesline

Everyone has problems, but most choose not to air it out on social networking sites. While you may find people supporting you for speaking out, they also can't help but judge you for sharing private details with the world. When you give out sordid details on a social networking site, you are basically inviting anyone and everyone to comment on you and your life. What you should do instead? As a thumb rule, don't post anything on social media that you wouldn't want to see printed on the front page of a newspaper. Problems in any relationship, romantic or otherwise are best sorted by talking to the persons involved. If you find that hard to do, approach a qualified expert for help. Lastly, if you have to vent, take it offline, talk to someone who is close to you and whom you can trust with your confidence.