When fear takes over

When I entered the drawing room, I saw more than 18 'people' in white clothes having a party, and eating food and drinking wine. They noticed me but weren't bothered by my presence. I did feel an initial shock but the feeling went away and I retired to my bedroom," says Geetika Deepen, an auto writer who claims to connect with departed souls and conveys their message from the astral world. She was in New Zealand for a conference of auto writers – described in Wikipedia as an alleged psychic ability allowing a person to produce written words without consciously writing – and spotted a party member as a soul she had conversed with.

Anyone else in her shoes would have been paralysed by fear. The existence of spirits and ghosts has often been debated but can we discount the fear that it brings?

"Fear is false emotions appearing as real," says Amanpreet Nagpal, a counselling psychologist and hypnotherapist, who has helped release negative energies from more than 30 people in her five-year career. "We are not born with fear of the unknown or supernatural. We are highly sensitive to positive and negative vibes and energies before the age of five and that's what makes us suddenly laugh or cry. Parents use this information to imbibe a sense of fear in children to control their behaviour," she adds.

If your parent ever locked you in a dark bathroom, told you that a ghost would eat you or that the monster would be called if you didn't finish your dal chawal, they have conditioned you to feel fear. "As children we are primed to feel certain things in a certain way. By creating such fears, we prime them to feel scared around such phenomenon. The reason why such things attract all of us is because it sells like any bad news in the media. Why don't we hear stories of the spirits that do good for humans? Everyone wants to feel fear but in the safety of their home. What we need to realise is that there is a spirit world that co-exists with the human world and that we have been trained to not see them," says Geetika, pointing out that tools are available to educate ourselves on the matter. If children were taught to strengthen their intuition, sixth sense, third eye and the like, the new generation wouldn't be afraid of the supernatural, she adds.

Movies, literature and ghost stories have affected the way we feel about the paranormal. Every time we travel in a car and are stuck behind a truck of logs of wood or steel pipes, we imagine them crashing into our windshield somewhat like in the movie Final Destination. "Our eyes aren't accustomed to seeing deformity of the human form. If you see any horror movie, a human has been disfigured. Our photographic memory is very powerful and when we are faced with a similar situation, we react with what we have been taught- fear," says Amanpreet who says that a strong belief system will definitely create such experiences in one's life.

Sadhana Srivastava, a teacher of sociology for 20 years, says the fear of ghosts and the supernatural has its base in superstition -- just like religion where you don't see god but still worship it. "Spirits have been worshipped even before the dawn of civilisation. If you can't fight a belief, you give it a reasoning. Man is a social animal and will believe his peers to fit in. Socially, we are conditioned to believe in such things and the media adds onto the existing belief. Halloween parties were not populr in India earlier. Now they are considered cool, so people are ready to believe in its tradition," says the professor who teaches at Goregaon's Vivek College.

"It's not my job to convince people that if there are beings less powerful than you on earth, there are beings more powerful than you too. If you face a situation where you feel another worldly presence, just say that you are only human and do not intend to deliberately annoy them and ask for forgiveness. If I am here to help you to convey your message be patient with me and give me a sign as to how can I help you and never think that you are alone as your guardian angels and spirit guides are always there to protect you. Otherwise screaming is the best option to release fear," says Geetika who was told by her guardian angels that she will be ridiculed, called a witch and disturbing the peace of departed souls but hasn't had a negative experience so far.

Fear is not a liberating experience and stops you from taking an action. Apart from the fight-or flight response to any given situation, there are methods to cope with the fear of the supernatural. If the word fear was replaced with curiosity, there would be a 360 degree turn in our approach.

"Do not attach much significance to it and like everything else, understand that it is a belief and not reality. Ask yourself if this fear contributes to your life in any way. Accept that you are fearful and decide what to do next as avoiding it will not help. If you can't deal with it then approach a psychologist for help," says Amanpreet, agreeing that some people seek such fears to undo what they learned as children or to experience thrill and adventure.
Next time you hear the old wives tale of the witch that ate babies who did not sleep on time, stay-up late, educate yourself and find out if these old wives exist.