The year of the elevator

Wednesday, 25 December 2013 - 9:58am IST | Agency: DNA

In more ways than one, 2013 was the year of the elevator. Causes were elevated to trivia. Love and lust found their way in a 19 second elevator ride. Politicians were elevated to the rank of dolts whether they, like Rajnath Singh found homosexuality unnatural or like Baba Ramdev found a cure. It was the year that Rahul Gandhi was elevated to the post of Vice-President of the Congress Party but still had to find his voice. Or for that matter the elevation of Narendra Modi from Brand Modi to Brand Prime Minister.

The Aam Aaadmi was elevated to the post of Chief Minister whereas some stars of Bollywood were elevated to a Rs100 crore-plus club. Devyani elevated her maid to the status of Persona Always Discussed whereas Akhilesh Yadav in Uttar Pradesh elevated himself to the custodian of lawlessness and disorder. Closer home, here in Bombay, Prithiviraj Chavan elevated himself to the ranks of those honest men who hiding behind the façade of honesty wish to do no work.

Jayanthi Natarjan was elevated to Persona Non Cabinet for her remarkable work in delaying every single industry project. Jignesh Shah was elevated to the ranks of Harshad Mehta and other scamsters but all yet to be proved which in this country can take up to 20 years. Pratibha Patil elevated herself to Gandhian stature when she returned all the official gifts to the Rashtrapati Bhavan: Gifts that she shouldn’t have taken in the first place. Jayalalithha elevated herself to be yet another Prime Ministerial candidate whereas Karnunanidhi was last seen trying to elevate himself into relevance.

Jet Airways and Etihad formed a rather elevated merger, which is yet to see the stamp of official approval, but knowing how transparent and bright Naresh Goyal is, that will not be a problem.
Tarun Tejpal elevated himself (almost literally) from Editor-in-Chief to Fugitive-at-Large for not being able to distinguish between a yes and a no. But there was a lot of good too, which doesn’t require a pun.

 The Supreme Court showed its infinite wisdom in sustaining a law that belonged to 1860: perhaps the judges are keen on history replacing the present. Then there was the other retired Supreme Court judge who used the example of Bethlehem to offer shelter to a hapless intern when all he wanted was to make sexual advance or so we’ve been told. He remains the Chairman of the Bengal Human Rights Commission because getting rid of him would be an arduous process. And shame is not his virtue, which meant he wouldn’t resign.

 In essence, 2013 was a wonderful year. It was consistent. Corruption continues to be one of our nation’s USPs; then we had our venerable Members of Parliament who continued to behave impeccably. Then there was the whole issue of communalism so we remained consistent in that too. Muzzafarnagar being a case in point.

 I believe 2014 will only be an improvement on 2013. I look forward to more arrests; more scandals and more disruptions: be it in traffic terms or in our Parliament. We will continue to predict India’s next Prime Minister until May 2014 after which we will resign ourselves to our fate waiting for the next Shahrukh Khan blockbuster.And Bigg Boss inmates will continue to be the moral compass, which will guide this land of Gandhi and Buddha.

Have a splendid 2014. Things can’t get any worse. Or maybe they can.

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