Superna Motwane writes on the big fat Indian birthday party

I'm talking about the mega celebrations that take place in our city (and across the country) for our great tots. Lest they pass by a milestone (read ANY year) and not feel the impact. And let me tell you I am referring to myself as well. When my daughter turned one (and two and three…) I felt the need to have the parties of the year! I wanted everyone to be dressed in tiaras and tutus and I felt that the world should be pink… could I make that happen?

By the time my son entered the scene, year one, I felt more calm. I laughed at the first time mum and me and attempted a more 'toned down' party. Needless to say, it was a mess. It started small and then just kept adding up. Lesson learnt. I went all out the next year and felt a huge sigh of relief when I witnessed a Disney Land created by me that could definitely at least rival the one in Hong Kong.
Now my children are six and ten. I am slightly less motivated and can take stock of the madness that was. Now, I sit at other massive dos and watch with mild amusement, as the glamorous mum-in-charge struts around in high heels and short skirts waving little kids about her. Her hair coiffed to perfection and a dress that may match that of the birthday girls', it is the mum who is definitely the belle of the ball. And today, it is with amusement that I can actually see the real benefiters of these balls. It's the mums who attend.

Yes, I'm talking about the 'party mums', who have handed over their 'soccer mum' hats to their nannies and have now entered the domain they feel most comfortable in – the Big Fat Indian Birthday Party! And here are some of the mums you'll find: 

The Serial Party Goer:
She will have it down to a science. The nanny and child or children will arrive first. The nanny will be in a crisp uniform carrying a Gucci diaper bag or Polo carry bag (depending on the age of the child). The nanny will spend most of the evening trying to feed the child, with a few bites going into her own mouth. By the time the mum arrives – looking like she's fresh from the salon – the child is usually done with the party, bored of the maid and may not have found a single friend to hang out with. Hence the child will cling to her mother, while the mother will cling to other mothers and try to quickly work the room, cursing her own late arrival.

The Room Worker:
This mum will arrive early and work the room, but as most mums come towards the end of the party, this early bird will work the kids! She will meander through the party and take stock of the children there. She will then smile sweetly at the nannies who are simply baffled by their importance in her life and then she will woo the children. In order of priority, depending on whom they belong too. When the nanny later mentions it to her madam (and she will, so smitten she will be), the madam will be touched and mildly remind herself to have lunch with this mum who is so kind to her children. Meanwhile, that mum is the same with everyone's children, as tempting as it might be, do not presume yours are special!

The Agro Mum:
This is the mother who will push her child – everywhere! She will push her to dress a certain way, to say hello to all the aunties and pose for pictures with all her friends. She will push her to dance with the other children and participate in every activity. She will cheer for her as if she is at Sports Day and be taken over by the tiger mum in her during any competition. She will take extra candy, extra cake, a few balloons and an extra return gift for the child at home who may not have been invited – unless she brought him or her along anyway!

Okay, so I've been a little brutal. There are plenty of sweet, loving mothers who just adore kids and love to spend time with their own and do the birthday party circuit for all the right reasons – hopefully, I'm one of those!