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Relationship Thursdays: Grandmothers Speak

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Louisa Ferreira, 82, grandmother of Avril-Ann Braganza, 25 and Kiara, 7

“Both my granddaughters are very attached to me, even though there is a huge age difference between both of them.
Avril always wants to tell me everything first. She always tells me, 'Nana, I can talk to you more freely than with mama.' Of course, today's generation is very different. The way Avril does things or looks at life is different from our time. They are more advanced. But I am always there to spiritually guide her. I tell her how to deal with people, to be polite and not be harsh with anyone.
Even my younger one, Kiara is very close to me. She always wants to tell me everything first. Recently, they bought some birds and she called me immediately and said, 'Nana, we bought birds!' I live in Manori so I don't get to see Kiara as often since she has to go to school. When Kiara was younger, she would ask me to play 'Teacher Teacher' with her and I always had to be her student, in the game.

I love both of them and I can go to any extent to please them (as long as it is good for them). I am willing to go out of my way and sacrifice for them. I was fortunate to spend a large part of my life while growing up, with my great grandmother, Catherine D'souza. She lived for more than 100 years. She was very bold. Even when she was old, she would stay alone in her house in Manori. And in those days, it was the only house on the island and it was a jungle. I would often ask her, 'How do you stay alone?' Today, I think of her everyday, because I am also staying alone. God has given me the same will power. She taught me to overcome fears and have a strong willpower—a lesson I have passed on to my grandchildren.

Grandchildren always share a special bond with their grandparents, especially because parents are away at work and we spend maximum time with our grandkids. We are there for them, all the time.”

 

Chandrika Shah,74

"I am a mother of four, grandmother of nine and a great grandmother of one. Being around this huge family is like being around  flowers in a garden. A child's laughter is akin to a blossoming flower. My oldest grandchild is 30 and my great granddaughter is two years old. Being a mother is not easy as it involves a lot of responsibilities, but when you have grandchildren, it's different story—you have lesser responsibilities, as you have fulfilled most of your filial duties by then.

The emotions that run through you at the sight of the birth of your first grandchild is inexplicible. Iit's like happiness beyond the world, it's like a part of your own heart, the world feels complete and so do you.

Until a few decades ago, I loved going to the beach with my grandchildren. We ran around and played different games. We have a big house and a huge living room. Sometimes, even now, we play 'catch-catch' across the living room. The only differnce is, now I am on a wheel-chair. When I got married, I was 18; I wasn't specifically directed to do any household chores. I was proactive and took up responsibility on my own. But If I hadn't taken ownership then there would be an expectation setting from the family. Times have changed, this generation has the freedom to do what they wish to. You cannot question them, they don't like being told what to do.

The secret to building and bonding with grandchildren of different ages is very simple. You have to mould yourself based on the person's age and requirements. Since I lived in a joint family, it wasn't too difficult for me. My advice to my grandchildren is, everyone can be a judge to others and a lawyer to oneself, it's more important to reverse these roles. After all, nothing is better than a smooth and simple life."

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