Relationship Thursday: Mom (In-law) and Me

Thursday, 12 June 2014 - 5:16pm IST | Place: Mumbai | Agency: dna

Dear mother-in-law,

I know I don’t say these things often enough, so I want to take a minute to especially tell you how much I value you and how appreciative I am to have you in my life! Many moons ago, before I met your son, I had a vision of the man I wanted to marry and the family I wanted to marry into. I grew up seeing my mother share a great relationship with her mother-in-law and secretly wished for one such MIL.

You can imagine that growing up and learning that not everyone felt like that about their in-laws was a little disconcerting. When your son and I started dating, we spoke a lot about our families; we wanted to be accepted without any hesitation. I was nervous and excited to meet all of you, but especially you because I had heard stories of how you had influenced his life, his accomplishments and how much he valued your opinions.

Mom and you are both so different and so alike. You each love your children completely and fearlessly. You both take the time to look for your children’s strengths and build on them. You each lead your children, by example. Both of you share the same core values.. Like mom, you would give anything for your family. I like that we can talk about music, food, cinema and all the Bollywood gossip, something that mom doesn't subscribe to.

You are outgoing and always up for meeting new people. Just like mom, you always stayed up, when I worked late nights, to ensure I was back home safe. It didn't matter if I messed up the first time I made aviyal, you had the perfect trick to turn it around as the most delicious meal. For most women I've known, the kitchen is where the balance of power lies, but you never made me feel stronger of weaker. It was never about power, for you.

You leave me amazed at how you love introducing and re-introducing me to your friends when I meet them at weddings and other social gatherings. And in November 2010, when I fell terribly sick, I know you were crying within, but still kept a calm face just so that I know you are there.

I remember how you laughed with me when someone, at a wedding, asked you if my parents have started looking for a prospective groom. I doubt any MIL sends a routine SMS to her DIL, at least twice a day, as you do! I have not known a day when you have not been cheerful; you truly live up to the Carpe Diem philosophy.

Please always know that while I may not express myself often enough, I treasure my relationship with you.

Your DIL.

 




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