Pati, Patni aur Porn

Last week, the Supreme Court received a plea from a distressed Mumbai woman. Her complaint? That her 55-year-old husband was addicted to pornography and it was ruining their married life. She sought a blanket ban on all websites with pornographic material and argued that if an educated man like her husband, and a person of advanced years, could succumb to online pornography, it could have a worse effect on the youth.

This isn't the first time the Supreme Court of India has received such a request. Back in 2013, Kamlesh Vaswani, a public advocate, filed a public interest litigation in the Supreme Court seeking a complete ban on all porn websites, arguing that internet pornography led to an increase in sex crimes. In August 2015, the government ordered a ban on more than 800 porn websites. However a week later, after public outrage, the government lifted the ban partially and blocked only those sites that contained child pornography.

For a country in which sex is ironically one of the most taboo subjects, the land of Kamasutra consistently finds itself in the list of top countries that visit Pornhub, one of the largest pornography websites on the internet. In 2015 and 2016, India stood third and fourth respectively, in terms of traffic to the website. When Patna became the first station in Bihar to offer free WiFi, within a week the maximum number of internet searches were for porn sites. Our politicians enjoy watching porn too, and they don't worry about the content being NSFW, as was evident when politicians were caught watching porn during state assemblies in Karnataka and Gujarat in 2012.

Easy access on the internet has made porn addiction a real condition. "Around 20 per cent of my patients are addicted to porn," says Dr Meena Kasargod, consultant psychiatrist. While more men report the condition, women are known to be addicted to pornography as well, says Dr Gaurav Kulkarni, consultant psychiatrist. "More patients confess that they spend long hours watching pornography. Many women don't say it because of hesitation and fear."

Although the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) does not recognise porn addiction, it is usually described as an addiction to compulsive sexual activity with the use of visual material. Differentiating casual consumption from addiction, Dr Kulkarni explains, "The early adolescent novelty-seeking behaviour to explore sexuality and expose oneself to pornography occasionally is considered normal. It becomes an addiction when an individual spends long hours, neglecting one's regular routine and remaining glued to porn content."

It's not different from other addictions say mental health professionals, who describe it as a form of compulsive behaviour done at the cost of other activities. But porn addiction becomes alarming when it has social implications such as marital discord and sex crimes.

How addiction starts

Several serious cases of porn addiction received by sexologist Dr Mahinder Watsa have ended in separation or divorce. "Usually single men are frequent users," says Dr Watsa. "When they get a partner, many prefer satisfying themselves through the fantasy created by the images. Some become so addicted to porn that they neglect satisfying their partner."

While many married men discover hidden desires through porn, such as child sex, Dr Watsa says the other reasons for porn addiction in middle-aged men include an unexciting sex life, unexpressed fantasies and a mid-life crisis. Many view porn as a way to release stress, while others turn to it when they are struggling with poor intimacy with their partner. They believe pornography gratifies their sexual needs without having to cheat on their partner.

However, porn addiction goes beyond sex or a perverse mind as other underlying psychological issues often play a role. "Social aloofness, shyness, social anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, poor relationships, mood disorders are known to be major psychological issues behind excessive use," explains Dr Kulkarni.

Cause for harm

Porn addiction becomes a problem between couples when an individual cannot be aroused by their partner or without the assistance of pornographic content. The quality of porn available in mainstream media is an issue of concern too, says Shruti Chakravarty, a mental health professional based in Mumbai. "It is degrading towards women and largely caters to the fantasies of men. Many women report being forced to imitate the sexual acts from porn videos with their husbands. This is coercive and harmful."

Despite these problems, mental health experts agree that simply banning porn sites is not the solution. "Treating the underlying cause and preventing damage is the more important issue," says Dr Kulkarni. "Banning porn sites may be a good legal option," says Amit Joshi, consulting psychologist, "but creating awareness is one of the best preventive options."

Chakravarty believes therapy is a better solution. "All addicts need support to be able to work on their addiction, and porn addiction is no different. Conversations around sex and sexuality that focus on respect, consent and pleasure for all people involved is a must," she explains. "Banning porn is like saying alcohol should be banned because some people may develop an addiction to it."