While most of us seek to make a favourable impression on others, there’s one more facet we should be looking at to achieve happiness — our inner selves
From the moment we are born, many seek to make a favourable impression on others around them, in different degrees, depending on their individual needs. Psychotherapist Seema Hingorrani defines this seeking as “a need for approval and acceptance” which is recognised as one of the basic needs of human life.
Theatre director Raell Padamsee says she was a conformist at school, and not a rebel, who aimed to please her teachers as far as possible. Yet there were others she sought approval from, most notably her family. “As my parents’ daughter, I felt both the internal as well as external pressure to excel.” Gallerist Priyadri Patodia says that as a young girl she wanted to impress her teachers and her dad: “They were the people who mattered most to me in the world, especially my teachers. Teenagers nowadays have to deal with peer pressure and that makes them fashion and brand-conscious among other things.”
Says Hingorrani, “As we go through different stages of life, the people we might want to create a favourable impression on change. As human beings we require validation at every stage of our lives. Even senior citizens seek validation from their sons and daughters-in-law because they are the sources of happiness for them.” Yet could the need for external validation have harmful consequences on the individual when it is carried to the extreme? Raell feels that even when seeking to make a favourable impression on others, we must remain true to ourselves. Priyasri feels there is no problem trying to conform when in a teenaged group, as long as it is on harmless issues.
Says Hingorrani, “When seeking approval and acceptance from others in the outside world, it’s important to maintain the balance with the inner self. There are a lot of imbalanced people who go around seeking validation from the external world without tending to their inner selves; who wind up frustrated and unhappy.” She feels that while there is no harm in seeking approval from others, it’s vital that that one attends to their own inner self for growth and self-improvement.
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