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Love, virtually: Romance in the time of technology

Genuine romance will today need genuine tech support, says KJ Kartik as he ruminates over love in the time of draining batteries and internet connections, of crackling chemistry over LOLs and flirty emoticons

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Amar, 24 ran into Sandhya, 22, one evening while doing virtually nothing. Common friends, shared interests… it wasn't long before a conversation started. One thing led to other and they ended up speaking till 3 a.m. It felt surreal. "Stuff like this happens in movies," he said. "Should we break into a duet now?" she asked. He made her laugh, she made him wink. It felt like they knew each other forever. "Is this the proverbial love at first sight," they wondered. Their heartbeats quickened and eyes twinkled, but then Amar had to reluctantly say those anticlimactic words – "Battery dying... Later!"

Whatsapp wala, Facebook wala, Google wala love, Hota hai jo, flirt se zyada, waise wala love… chat wala love!

When they chronicle our times, I can't wait to see what they say of our battery lives. Believe it or not, sustaining mobile battery is a big (if not bigger) art than sustaining a conversation. No matter how turned on you are, your cell phone can without warning sometimes get turned off. And yes, be wary of those no-network zones, they can ruin your rapport. Being online is the new being alive.

Not so long ago, you would struggle endlessly to get the name of someone you saw at a party and thought was really attractive. Today, you simply need to log on to Facebook and you are probably already tagged in the same picture or location. If you're lucky, he/she might be a "suggested friend". If you are luckier, there may be a virtual "poke" waiting to be responded to. "Poke back?" Facebook will ask you, while you grin to yourself – "Yeah, right!"
So you poke, then you chat, and then send a friend request. As you engage in mutual admiration over status updates and profile pictures, you wonder what is harder to control – heartbeats or data usage. If servers could talk, they would testify to the crackling chemistry built over LOLs and flirty emoticons. Slowly, infatuation finds its way from your fingertips to your mind, attraction flirts with intent, and you ask yourself – could this be more than just a virtual connection, could this be love?

"Virtual reality" is a very telling oxymoron of our times, and virtual love is just its manifestation, nothing new. This is the same old boy-meets-girl story with a kahani mein virtual twist. After all, millions of novels, tonnes of popcorn and a handful of first hand experiences have us educated – pyaar andha hota hai. And to its merit, virtual love is not blind at all! You can see who you are falling for, you can even get into a live video chat – how can this attraction be insignificant just because it is virtual. (Certainly a step forward from agreeing to marry over the rishta pictures that aunts keep sending home.)

What is new, however, is what technology is apparently substituting. When was the last time you read, wrote (or even saw) one of those blue inland letters? From postcards to emails, SMS and chat messengers, humankind has chosen mediums based on their ease, access and convenience. So even a liking that hasn't necessarily originated virtually soon graduates to a chat messenger. Genuine rapport today will need genuine tech support.

Yesterday's romance featured a lover yearning to get a glance of his/her beloved – standing by that window, staring down a winding road, longing to see the familiar figure approach. Today, you are simply staring the section that says 'Last seen online'. The latest update even tells you if your message has been read (and how long ago). He who once would fall asleep by that window as he lost hope of seeing his beloved, today must switch off mobile data in denial if she appears online and does not reply!

Demanding, draining and costly, technology has ways of making us pay for our choices. But data may not be the only price we are paying in this new realm. That reassuring smile, that familiar embrace, that nod of acknowledgement – can you really find virtual substitutes for these? Or are we evolving into superior (?) beings for whom touchscreens have replaced touch. How long before a guy (like in the Oscar acclaimed movie Her) falls in love with an operating system. After all, love is simply a feeling – and feeling can be virtual.

Simply put, a connection is a connection. So what if it is based on your internet connection?

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