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'Amma and Appa' explores transcontinental love story through the eyes of German and Tamilian parents

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Jayakrishnan Subramanian and Franziska Schönenberger in Copenhagen and at their vedic ceremony reception in Munich (down).
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How do two sets of parents, one from Cuddalore and the other from Munich, react when their children decide to marry? Yogesh Pawar talks to Franziska Schönenberger and Jayakrishnan Subramanian who have put it down in their acclaimed documentary Amma and Appa Of course there was love, which glued it all together. But ever wonder what'd happen if the couples in Ek Duuje Ke Liye, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge and recently 2 States — who chose to chip away at the parental wall of resistance — simply eloped and got married, leaving their folks to deal with it?

It just wouldn't work as a story, would it? And what if the couple in question was a Bavarian German and a Tamilian from India and this were a real life story? Ask Franziska Schönenberger and Jayakrishnan Subramanian, who've put together Amma and Appa, a film on their parents' first meeting. This 89-minute documentary in German, English and Tamil, which got rave reviews and critical acclaim at Festivals Berlinale 2014 (Perspektive Deutsches Kino) and the Warsaw Festival 2014, also became a talking point at the recently concluded 16th Mumbai Film Festival.

The journey from Bavaria, from where Franziska's parents made the decision to travel to Cuddalore in Tamil Nadu, to meet Jay's parents, forms a better part of the film, shot over two years. "You know at one point, Jay's mother Viruthambal remarked, 'Parents are parents and you have to understand that.' There was something universal and nice about her concern for her child's well-being that though this was my first meeting with his parents, I immediately knew that I'd get Jay's parents to come around," Franziska remembers.

When Franziska first visited Jay's parents in Cuddalore in January 2010, they hadn't seen or met any foreigners. "I didn't want to embarrass them in front of the village and convinced a Korean cameraperson and friend, Minsu Park, to accompany me and shoot the family and village 'for a documentary'. That way, I wasn't the lone foreigner and everyone thought we were there to shoot," she recalls.

The shoot continued when her parents invited Jay to spend Christmas in Germany with them in 2010. "Though they're from completely different cultures, both our parents are about the same age and have been married for over three decades," points out Jay.

His sari-clad wife adds, "My parents live in south of Germany, Jay's in the south of India. They came together because we'd fallen in love, wanted to be married. Finally, after two years of a long-distance relationship, we persuaded them to meet."

It helped that Jay's elder brother Arun helped soothe ruffled feathers.Franziska recollects the first time her parents came visiting to India. "This was my parents' first visit to India and Jay's parents received foreigners as guests for the first time. While my parents married for love, Jay's parents' was a traditional, arranged one within the community."

Jay remembers how shocked his parents were to know he wanted to challenge traditions and marry by his own choice. "And that too, to a German."

"By putting our parents' relationships and lives in sharp focus, we want to build their own relationship and learn from their encounters and mistakes," says Franziska. "We want to find out what is the secret of a successful partnership. How can a couple live together happily for so many years? And what impact does their wisdom have on us, their children?"

These often humorous explorings with the camera continued with a registered marriage in Copenhagen in February this year and a Vedic one which took place at Franziska's parents' home in Munich. "We had so much footage that our Iranian editor Robert Vakily took a whole three months to edit it," she laughs.

It had all started in 2009 as Franziska's reaction to Jay's blog post when he was pursuing a graphic design course at the National Institute of Design, Ahmedabad, soon led to frequent chats and Skyping over "shared sensitivities and sensibilities".

The young Bavarian's love for all things India had begun in 2007 when she, a media studies postgraduate student, reported for major German broadcasters and newspapers. "I'd even stayed with my friend Nishtha Jain (who made the documentary Gulabi Gang) for a while in Mumbai while pursuing journalism," she says.

What next for the couple? They are working on a feature length experimental documentary Palai Nizhalgal– Shadow of the Desert.We are waiting.

p_yogesh@dnaindia.net; @powerofyogesh

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