That's a question most couples find hard to answer with varying opinions confusing them even more. While some stress on the need for daily intercourse, others say three to five times a week is healthy. We get experts to give their take on what they consider 'is normal and healthy'
Married couples get a lot of unsolicited advice from all quarters on how they should plan a baby early on to how frequently they should make love. However, all that well-meaning advice can sometimes put a lot of pressure on the couple. There are different viewpoints on how often you should have sex and what's healthy for the relationship. While some people say everyday is a must, others say three to five times a week is healthy, and still others are okay with one to two times a week. We get experts to give their take on what's normal. Is there such a concept or does this differ for every couple.
Don't let statistics dictate what's normal for you
Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, Varkha Chulani, says, "There is no definition of 'normalcy' when it comes to sexual regularity. Many factors play a part in sexual functioning and these range from the physiological to the psychological. A person can be 'born' with a low libido -- that is purely genetic and can rarely be altered unless of course he/she takes performance drugs. Assuming that he/she does not take external uppers this person can do very well with sexual contact once a month! Now imagine if this person is partnered with a person who 'needs' sex every day. He/she is biologically predisposed to needing more. In such a scenario, we teach partners to satisfy the other without partaking in the sexual activity. But for that both people have to have very different ideologies towards sex and sexual satisfactions A rarity unfortunately. Many a couple are 'turned off' psychologically however. They hate each other and by and large are doing each other a favour staying married. Now how can you expect sexual activity when you are so put off!
Most sexual problems are psychosexual ones. If the relationship is by and large a healthy one sexual relations often are relatively regular too. So ideally, do not concentrate on statistics to determine your sexual frequency. It's akin to statistically asking how many times one should go to the bathroom to relieve oneself! Concentrate instead on trying to make your relationship work. That will spell the frequency to your encounters. The healthier the relation the probability of regular sex increases."
Desire does not always translate into lovemaking
Sex expert Mahinder C Watsa, adds, "Intercourse does not depend on what the couple desires but what works under the circumstances. Work stress, both working, travel stress, lack of privacy in a congested room with other members of the family etc can all contribute to reduced intimacy between couples. Advice like have sex in the morning has helped a number of couples. If a conception is desired, couples are advised to have sex during the fifth or sixth day day when the ovum is present, but here also better results are found if couples have on alternate days throughout the month. There are many husbands who stop havingsex for months because because they feel there are erections have become poor Finally depending on age three times in the young couples two in the middle age and one later but the emphasis should be that loving foreplay even without intercourse should be the norm that is what keeps the couple happy."
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