That’s the question we posed to relationship experts. here’s what they had to say...
With the popularity of apps like Tinder, singles have been caught in a whirlwind of complex relationships and hook-ups. Break-ups and hook-ups have moved into the fast lane as the world around tries to keep pace. It’s also this fast-paced round of cards that’s led to the most recent relationship trend — slow dating. Thanks to the way the app is designed it allows for a pause to step back and think about the choices one is making on the romantic front. This has also led people to question whether dating apps have killed romance.
The paradox of choice
While dating apps played matchmaker, they also created an environment of plenty according to users. Rachel Dias, a 20-year-old, travel executive says, “Dating apps are a convenient platform to meet someone. It may or may not lead to something serious but it does give you a lot more choices as you are no longer bound by physical boundaries. You can sit in India and chat with someone from across the globe. That means you have more choices when it comes to interacting with people.” However, social scientists have long been warning against the impact of this very situation — a choice overload may sound great on paper but many feel it has spelt the end of romance. Relationship experts definitely seem to think so.
Dressing it up for maximum likes
Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal, feels romance, as we know it, has seen a decreasing graph since dating apps made an appearance. He says, “Now, with just a swipe you can easily communicate with someone. So, the main psychological adventure of getting introduced and dating is losing its sheen. Also, most of the pre-dating happens online or via chatting online. You don’t really get the time to know the person. Everything is dressed up to impress whether it’s your Facebook, Instagram feeds or your display pictures that are edited to the minutest details.” As a result, it’s all about hitting goalposts, getting maximum likes, even if the person who is being appreciated looks nothing like their display picture. Faking it, is making it.
The fast track is pulling the plug on romance
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, on the other hand stresses that most dating apps are designed to provide instant gratification and cater to an endless list of possibilities. She adds, “Romance needs time, patience, warmth and an unconditional positive regard which we see an absence of in people. Due to an over indulgence and reliance on dating apps, things seem to be falling apart even before a break-up happens. You can’t have romance by rushing into things. Taking it slow is the first step to see romance blossom.”
Know what you want
If you crave romance, don’t bite the fast track bullet seems to be the recurring view. While having choices is not a bad thing. One needs to take time out rather than flitter around from one relationship to another aimlessly. A choice overload will only confuse you and your emotions. Leaving you flustered and not in the right frame of mind to see things for what they are.
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