Digital dating abuse is now a sad reality!

Parents of teenagers have to contend with many safety concerns on a day-to-day basis. And sadly, with each passing day, there’s a new threat that gets added to that never ending list. One such disturbing phenomenon is digital dating abuse, which was also found to be associated with online bullying in a recent study. Tragically, dating violence can now be perpetrated digitally by harassing, stalking or controlling a romantic partner via technology and social media.

About the study

Jeff Temple, co-author of the paper and The University of Texas Medical Branch associate professor in the department of obstetrics and gynaecology, says, “Potential red flags can be identified, such as sharing pin codes and passwords to phones and apps, excessive contacting or demanding a partner to send a picture of where they are or whom they are with to ‘prove’ that they are telling the truth. Because of their inexperience with romantic relationships, teens might not know how to appropriately cope with feelings of uncertainty about their relationship and may resort to monitoring as a coping mechanism.” 

Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal, warns, “Parents need to educate teens about online threats and dating violence instilling confidence in them and keeping channels of communication open, stressing that no matter what, they will be there for them.” There are also clear indicators parents need to watch out for, to help their child. Dr Hemant adds, “Increased restlessness, anger and anxiety levels and a drastic change in online and offline behaviour are good indicators that something is up with your teen. Pop culture’s rampant use of sexual images  has led to a general acceptance among teens that being sexually active is the cool way to go. If the teen is in the dark about how and what’s acceptable or permissible in a healthy relationship. He or she is more likely to turn to friends, the internet or a manipulative partner, who can use that against him or her. Many a times a victim of digital abuse goes along with everything that’s happening only because he or she is dominated by fear.” What’s even more disturbing are the number of cases exposed to digital dating abuse. Dr Hemant says, at least 70 per cent of the teenage population has experienced some sort of digital abuse,  while 30 per cent has escaped falling prey to it, another 15 per cent has been severely affected by it.

Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, agrees and adds, “Sometimes the digital abuse can really take a toll on a person. It can destroy a person’s confidence and reputation, and even force him or her to shun the online world for good. People who indulge or perpetuate this kind of abuse generally suffer from a personality disorder, and draw sadistic pleasure from torturing people.”

So, while digital dating abuse  is a reality, it can be dealt with and nipped in the bud if parents work with their wards, by making them aware of the online dangers they face and how to deal with them. They key is to reach out with a supportive approach, rather than alienate your child by trying to limit his or her freedom both in expression and movement. The more you try to exert control, the more you are likely to push him or her away.