Confessions of godmen about why they chose faith

‘The temple felt more comfortable than home’

I had visions ever since I was a two-year-old that I will leave home to become a sadhu in saffron robes. I thought I would become a sanyasi at the age of 50. I’m 34 now, and have been a monk for the last 10 years.

When I look back, I can now connect the dots to my failures that I didn’t understand back then. For instance, I was aware that the army doesn’t tolerate lies. Yet, for the entrance exams at the National Defence Academy in Allahabad, when an army officer asked me whether I faced any difficulty doing any tasks, which I had, and they were aware of, I said ‘no’. 

Similarly, for the Mathematics paper of Semester II in mechanical engineering, though I knew all the answers, when I got the question paper in hand, my mind went blank and my hands failed to move. I only attempted 27 marks and failed.

One day, ISKCON had organised a seminar in college, but my friends and I decided to play cricket instead. We reached the exit, when two ISKCON monks entered and just like that I said, “Let’s hear what they have to say.”
That’s when I started to study the Gita before and after lectures. The temple felt more comfortable than home.

When I was initiated, my brother immediately got a job. The scriptures say that when you surrender to God, he takes care of your loved ones for you. Spiritual oath is not something we choose, unless you have the mercy of the Lord.
— Nityanand Charan Das,
34, ISKCON Chowpatty, Mumbai

​‘I wanted to be free from dukha’

I’m from Arunachal Pradesh and I lived very close to the monastery. The Theravada Buddhists monks taught me well. I helped them to cook, serve food, wash the dishes, prepare tea for their guests and heat water for baths.

I’d even sweep the monastery and its temple. From an early age, I learnt to chant the dhamma, and to behave, act and talk gently. When we’re young, our mind is like that of a monkey — it jumps from one branch to another. But I learnt to discipline it with meditation.

The decision to become a monk came naturally. I wanted to become free from dukha (suffering) experience true happiness and attain nirvana (nibbana), like the Buddha did. Family life brings many tensions and I didn’t want that.

I become a monk on January 1, 1995 at Chembur’s Sarvodaya Buddha Vihara. I was16 and had completed my class 10 board exams. From that day until now, I’ve spent 14 1/2 years in Colombo to complete my MA in Buddhist Studies and teach at schools and colleges. I’ve always been at peace.
— Bhante Anuruddho, 39,
Buddhist monk, Pune

‘37 pages of confession before God came over me’

In my younger days, I wasn’t religious. I’d be physically present and mentally absent during mass. I had no direction or purpose. I would grapple with the question of God’s existence.

My life changed at 19 during a retreat at St Dominic Savio High School, Andheri. At one of the preaching, the priest told us to think about the sins we’ve committed since childhood and write them down. I wrote 37 pages and was still not done. Shortly after, the priest said one has to be like a child to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. That’s when I prayed, “Lord I’m a sinner, please forgive me for all my sins.” Suddenly, I felt God come over me. The priest told me to speak a word that was unintelligible. I shouted, “Lalu!” Instantly, I felt my tongue move up and down to make me speak in tongues (divine language incomprehensible to the speaker). I fell on the floor, my ears started to vibrate and I went cold in hot May.

After this experience, I transformed. I joined the lectors, the choir and the prayer group to visit the sick and those in need of counseling. Meanwhile, I worked eight years in corporate marketing, then IT marketing and finally IT recruitment. As the years went by, God’s calling further crystallised. I realised that if had a family, I wouldn’t be able to invest in the Lord full-time. By the time I turned 28, I was clear that I wanted to become a priest.

It was the happiest moment of my life when I joined the seminary a year later. Never in those eight years of preparing for priesthood, did I want to leave. I enjoyed the morning prayer, the games and studying the scriptures and philosophy. I was finally ordained at 36 and haven’t looked back since.
— Fr Melroy Mendonsa,
IC Parish, Borivali, Mumbai