Years ago, I came across a saying—A child gives birth to a mother—and dismissed it as senseless immediately. A woman of 29 years and I never felt the emotional need to be a mother; the thought scared me rather. You know things like loss of freedom, sleepless nights, etc.. felt so not worth it. Every time hubby dear would hint at starting a family, I would take flight and bury my head like an ostrich. Then on 5th March 2013 my world changed when I found out I was pregnant. The mere happiness of people around me made me happy and feel so special! Every time I shared the news with someone, I felt so much more special!
After the initial excitement gave way to calm, it was time to face reality—I was starting a family! For the first time in life, I took a close look at what I was eating and began to change my lifestyle. Since I have always been over weight, exercise couldn't be put off. I had to be healthy to keep my baby healthy! For the first time in life, I put myself before everyone around me. My husband's likes and dislikes for food were suddenly least concerning. The motherly instincts were kicking in, but I didn't realise it.
Time flew and soon I started feeling my baby move. First the gassy flutters and then twirls and kicks. Oh what a feeling! I was amazed with every ultrasound. It is a miracle! Not once through all of this did I feel I didn't want this. I was enjoying every single moment of my baby's growth. It was like a wonderland where magically things were happening.
My child was born 35 days pre-mature, but in good health. The moment I first held her in my hands is engraved in my memory. I cried and howled within. It was MY child! She was so angelic that I couldn't stop staring at her. The cutest new born I ever have seen. Aren't they right when they say, "there's only one beautiful child, and every mother has it"? I had an instant connection with her. I remember my days in the hospital were sleep deprived; and when I did sleep nothing around would wake me except my girl's little movements. A slight move of her little hand or leg and I'd awake to check on her. It was as though we were still attached with invisible strings. I was still in my wonderland, but now my little angelic daughter was keeping me company.
A colleague once told me that pregnancy is the best part of having a baby and damn was she right! After returning home from the hospital, there was an endless list of things that are right and those that are wrong. Everyone had something to say. Everything I did didn't seem enough. To add to this, superstitious beliefs and rituals! All this when you are still adjusting to your new life with a baby, can really take a toll. I'm sure all new mothers are nodding their heads in agreement! I went through an emotional roller coaster. Sobbing, crying, howling, screaming, fighting. All this when all I needed to do was to be with my baby and be happy. Despite the huge mental and physical toll, one look at that baby by your side and your life is a happy place again.
My daughter is 7 months now, and when I look back I need to think hard to remember any tough times, because they are so few compared to the happiness she's brought into my life. Priorities have realigned; my life is more focused on home with quality family time; and my days are filled with laughter. She has been my best decision ever and today I do believe, "A child gives birth to a mother".