Companions for life

Friends are a crucial part of our lives. Sometimes, as important as family, sometimes, more than family. A recent study has found that friendship is more important for health than family as we age. Researchers at Michigan State University, US, conducted two separate, yet related studies, hoping to find the value of friendship. The first study analysed a survey that provided self-reported measures of health and happiness from over 2,70,000 participants of all ages globally. The second study obtained its data on relationships and chronic illness from a survey of nearly 7,500 American adults. 

In the first study, it was found that having healthy relationships with both, family and friends, were influencers of good health and happiness in general, but friendship alone was seen to be a solid predictor of positive overall health at later ages.

The second study found that subjects who had stress-inducing friends were likely to experience chronic illness, while those who had more supportive friends were happier. The notion that friends influence our well-being more than family may be a bit controversial, however, it’s important to note that we have an active hand in selecting friends, which allows us to choose wisely.

For older people, friendships can help prevent loneliness when other family members have passed away or there’s a deficiency of workplace interaction. Lead researcher William Chopik said, “Summaries of these studies show that friendships predict day-to-day happiness more and ultimately how long we’ll live, more so than spousal and family relationships.”

Expert speak

Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, tobacco treatment specialist, Mansi Hassan agrees, saying, “Yes, having a good friend circle ensures a healthy and happier life. We end up spending more time with friends than family as we grow older simply because the association is based on similar interests, experiences, likes, dislikes and mental wavelength. As a result, the mental connect is found to be stronger leading better emotional affiliation.” Friends make us feel accepted, loved and cared for hence, they are the “feel good factors” for us, the core to satisfying are emotional needs.

Need to inculcate friendships

Though one may have a harmonious family life, why does one need to inculcate friendships? And so, is it even more imperative for people with dysfunctional/unhappy families, to inculcate strong friendships? “Harmonious family life is within the home boundaries, whereas as individuals and social beings we interact with multiple people in different capacities, and with mutual liking end up being in a relationship, which we eventually term it as being friends. People from dysfunctional families may experience the lack of meaningful relationship which may act as a precipitating factor for stronger friendships however, not being a prerequisite,” says psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Dr Anjali Chhabria.

Friends become more important than family?

With so many people, living in different cities, friends become family. Also, for some people, their friends are more important than their family, not just teenagers but also for some who are in relationships. Why does that happen? Hassan provides an explanation, “Healthy friendships can sometimes be more emotionally satisfying than family relations. Friendships, which are able to provide ‘solace even in the chaos’ end up becoming the primary source of emotional stability and well-being. Hence, we see friendships taking precedence over family ties.”

Essence of friendship diluted in today’s age of social media

Isn’t the word ‘friend’ used very loosely in today’s age of social media, where we call most people our ‘friends’? Has this diluted essence of friendship and become superficial in today’s age? A “friend” today, is a number on your social media account. It is more or less diluted and seems to be losing its essence, because friendships are getting defined by the number of likes you or comments you may give, or snap stories you may or may not share, explains Hassan.

However, she adds that if we still choose to see the perks of our social networking, even though it may be creating the absence of intimacy, it is also creating more opportunity to reach out to more like-minded people and creating innovative ways of communication and expression. 
        
“The essence of any and every relationship has undergone a massive change in recent age. We might blur the lines with respect to terminology, which would then reflect the superficiality of a relationship. One of the major causes of this superficiality could be the constraints of time inability to prioritise people and work. There is an innate need for connection but due to other commitments, people are left with no choice but to be causal about it,” Dr Chhabria shares her views.