Chris Turner UK-based stand-up comedian: I Believe

Wednesday, 25 December 2013 - 10:29am IST | Agency: DNA

God backwards.

Life is…probable on a long enough timescale.

Love is...impossible to define, simple to understand.

Most amazing actor and why... Daniel Day Lewis. There Will Be Blood and Gangs Of New York — that is why.

Most amazing politician and why... Clement Attlee, for pretty much everything he did to fix Britain post-war.

I live to… Have fun. If you can enjoy yourself while not being a dick, why not?

Sex is... Bloody fantastic. I don’t know why I didn’t start younger.

Freedom is... Scary. It’s a big world out there.

Happiness is… ‘Being loved by your fellow creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort’ (Charlotte Brontë)

Plastic surgery is... Not a cure for disliking your looks.

I wish I was... Able to keep an eye on the world at regular intervals in the future. I’d like to see where we’re going.

I live for... Just one day. (This is a lie. I am not a Mayfly).

I will never... BASE Jump. It’s mental.

I think... People worry too much, and appreciate too little.

My most cherished moment is...Forgotten. My memory is appalling, and all I can think of is getting my degree, but there must have been something better than that.

My biggest asset is...
My brain. I like it and willingly waste my time in it.

My phone is... Always on, always silent. Like a ninja.

My first crush... Was a scandinavian girl called Elka. We held hands occasionally from the ages of 6-10.

My fave delicacy... Really great, mature and pungent cheese. You can’t beat cheese.

India is... Not ready for the comedy thunder I am about to bring.

Comedy is...
Nothing without tragedy.

Stand-up comedy is... A crazy, crazy way to make a living.

Audience is... A generalised term. Comedy is about the individuals, too.

Money is... Necessary to a point. Anything after that is a bonus.

Describe yourself in three words: Iconoclastic, idiosyncratic, sesquipedalian.

As told to Boski Gupta

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